Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Lifelong Realizations

Ahh yes, the day our lives changed, and I would look forever creepy and weird.

   Shortly after Wyatt was born, there would be time where the gravity of my new life would hit me. All of a sudden, really out of nowhere, it dawns on me: I will have a kid for the rest of my life.

   This first happened while I was doing laundry. I had just put Wyatt down for a nap, maybe two or three weeks old. I guess things had just barely started to hit the routine stage, where Wyatt would go sleep for a few minutes and I'd try to collect myself. The school year had hit a groove, my wife was sleeping, and I needed to get some stuff done. I was tired and exhausted, and those are two different things. This was now my life.
   It didn't make me happy or apprehensive or feel burdened. It just was. I knew it was coming. I didn't know what it would mean before it came, but I knew I'd learn what it meant, so it wasn't a big deal.

   Another realization hit me recently, and this one did feel like a burden. This one depressed me: I will have to feed this kid several times a day for like 10 years. I'll have to purchase, prepare, present and physically feed this little human food.
   Every stinkin' day.
   What a drag.

When we don't have a baby spoon, I feed him applesauce with a spatula. Because it wouldn't make any sense to have MORE THAN ONE BABY SPOON, WOULD IT CARA!?

   That's always seemed like the worst part about families with several young children. The meals. It just looks so draining and frustrating, even when the kids are well behaved. I don't plan to let Wyatt complain about food, as much as I have control over that, but holy cow there's a lot of work involved.
   And, the thing about food is that it matters. It's not something you can repeatedly screw up. These days, if I just gave Wyatt formula for a meal that's fine. If I just give him formula for a whole day, that's not great, but it's okay. If I just give him formula for like three days, with no solids or vegetables or anything, I am doing his body a disservice. Formula is easy!! No cleaning! No mess! No struggle! Food is hard!! Cleaning! Mess! Struggle! Every stinkin' day!

   Maybe if my wife would be willing to pitch in and buy some food, make some food, and feed some babies, things would be a little easier for me. She keeps playing the "I just worked 12 hours and got home at 9:00 pm and why on earth is the baby crying have you not fed him at all today?!" card, which is totally bogus because she works at a pharmacy IN A GROCERY STORE so it's like come on just buy a pizza and some chinese food! But feeding the baby three or four times a day is work too, so don't tell me I don't do anything all day. I feed the baby and let it take naps and that's enough. Except for when I am working (which could be any day now!), in which case we need to be more equitable in how we split that crap up.
   Then she says "He's just wearing a diaper, and it's not even covering his whole butt crack!" and I say "Fine if you want to play dress up so bad then dress him up but don't put that on me" and she's like "Just because you're still in your underwear doesn't mean everyone has to be" and I am all "The neighbors haven't said anything yet!!" 
   Every stinkin' day!

Wyatt's mood: dazed
Listening to: Fun.

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