Momming

Friday, March 30, 2018

Giant Trampoline!!

Cara and I will stop at nothing to ensure that our special children have everything they could possible want. It's a big part of why Wyatt has 11 fidgit spinners and 18 lightsabers, with the other part being "Grant loves Star Wars and can't sit still." So, we thought, collectively, "Expenses and safety be darned, we need to get these boys a trampoline!"

Also, it was on sale super cheap the day after Christmas, and also we are pretty sure it has some structural damage.

Don't worry, folks, we'll have more exciting images later on. Wyatt is able to climb down on his own. Lincoln is not. So when Wyatt decides he's done, if he doesn't come get me, Link can be hanging out on the trampoline for a while. He doesn't yell or cry or fuss, just waits. Or naps.

One thing is certain: They love it.

I think if I were able to play with them on the trampoline indefinitely, they would starve before they stopped. Even without me, they can go for a super long time. It's like we purchased a cheap babysitter and made a long-term investment in hospital trips. Good financial planning on our part.

I kid. People think that trampolines are so dangerous, but did you know that each year more people die from car accidents and heart attacks combined than from trampoline accidents? I learned that from 30Rock.

Lincoln's favorite thing in the world is a game called Trampoline Monster. It's pretty complicated, but I'll try to explain it to you using small words. It's a game where I get on the trampoline, act like a monster, and eat them. I bounce as hard as I can, and as soon as one of them falls I pounce. My favorite thing is hearing Lincoln ask me to play trampoline monster 8 times a day. It's usually the first words out of his mouth when he wakes up.


Then a bunch of stuff like this happens:

I title this photo collection "Grant Didn't Know Cara Was Going To Take Pictures And Shouldn't Have Worn a White Shirt."
Also, "Thighs."

You might notice Wyatt is into finger guns. And posing for cameras.

Happy Baby.


True story: Wyatt grabbed my hand and flung it down, right into Jet's eye. Jet didn't cry, he was too shocked and felt so betrayed. And don't worry, I am not even flexing my abs in this picture.

Jet loves the trampoline too, but we don't always let him on. So he passes the time by scrounging for food.

"It is important in a young child's life to learn what is and isn't good for eating through unsupervised experimentation."          - page 8

What'd you learn, Jet!?
Wyatt in particular is getting pretty good at this bouncing thing. When we play Trampoline Monster, the rule is if he does a flip, the monster falls down. Lincoln is trying his best too.



Wyatt is way better at this stuff now than I ever was. Flips are scary!! Your feet are above your head!! The good news is, now when he asks me to do a flip, I can say "I'm too old, I'll hurt myself." It's not even a lie!!

I have one last video. It's of Cara jumping with the boys, seeing that I am filming her, and then awkwardly trying to look modest. I'm not going to share it, you sickos, but I want to remind her that I have it because holy cow is it funny.

Thanks for reading!

Everyone's mood: bouncy
Listening to: Nothing, actually. Kind of weird.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Piano Lessons!!

After a fall in which we didn't have Wyatt play soccer, a winter in which we didn't have Wyatt eat vegetables, and a spring that looks like we won't be having Wyatt go to bed at any discernable time, Cara and I have felt the need to re-establish ourselves as worthwhile parents. So we've had him take up piano.

We got this piano the only way we know how: given to us from a relative. More specifically, someone on Cara's side of the family. It's electric, which makes it really good, and sadly doesn't seem to have a headphone jack.

After a few weeks of him failing miserably, we decided maybe someone should teach him, so we got him some lessons.

Cara has absolutely no talent. We can focus on the musical side of things for now, but that last sentence is true in all facets except for "mumbling," at which she is superb. Her singing is akin to a poetry slam set to the tune of the last commercial jingle she heard. The only instrument she knows how to play is the nag, which is exactly what you think it is. 

I, on the other hand, could've been a great pianist or oboist if I'd ever tried or been forced to by my parents. And, while they did give me guitar lessons for the one month I could stand them, and piano for two years that I detested, I still feel like I wasn't given a fair shake. So with Wyatt, things will be different.

I've been priming the pump on his musical talents by playing a lot of classical music during the rare moments I'm not listening to Blink-182. And by "classical music," I mostly mean orchestral versions of Zelda and Mario music (real talk here: some of those scores are legit gorgeous, go check them out). During some of this classical music, he asked me what instruments were being played. I told him about some string and wind instruments, and he diligently took notes on a pad of paper. I am not kidding. He was like a little detective.

It's like whenever Tommy Pickles would try to write a note. Do you know what i am talking about? Of course you do.


Later, as we were wrapping up our exploration of instruments through YouTube - Wyatt continued to diligently take what I thought were notes - he rips the paper off the pad and says "Here, dad, you have a ticket!" and walks off.

He has enjoyed his lessons and playing the piano so far, but it doesn't seem to be any sort of passion for him. Still, he seems to like working to excel at things, and maybe we can trick him into this for even a few months.


Wyatt really wanted me to tell you how each piano session ends. You're welcome.

Wyatt wrote us a song. I won't play it for you, because I'd like you to come back to this blog when I put up another post in October (it's really awful), but it has a cool story. He calls it "Can We Hang Out Before You Leave," and, in his own words, it's about "Two girls that love each other but aren't married and one of them is going to move and so they want to hang out together one last time." It's touching, but the music really didn't match the mood. We've got a long way to go.

My mood: tough to get back on the horse
Wyatt's mood: hates going to bed when it's not dark
Link's mood: wants to pay with the most annoying toys
Cara's mood: started a new job!!
Jet's mood: always hungry
Listening to: Blink