Sunday, January 25, 2015

Uncle Bear is Engaged AKA We Have A New Babysitter!!

Wyatt and Uncle Garrett. Wy calls him "Unk Bear," and here they are hunting Christmas Trees

   Well, America, we've been adding family members left and right and upside-down over here. First, Auntie Ashley got married to Kirk, which lead to the cutest set of pictures in the history of Western Civilization. Then our precious little Lincoln was born, which lead to the greatest picture ever taken in the history of instagram (scroll down a few). And now, my brother, Uncle Garrett is engaged!! To an actual girl this time!!

   We haven't talked about Garrett much over here at My Kid Is Special, because, well, he's never really done anything before. My fiancee-in-law is named Faith, and she is sure excited to watch my kids whenever I want, all the time, for free!! Here is a really, really good picture of her that proves she's real.

She's the girl on the left. Not the one holding her hair. The one in the black-and-white striped, old-timey prison uniform. No, not that one, the other one. The one who is looking at me like "When is the earliest I can kill you?!" She's super great, though.

   We like Faith because she's not afraid to scare the living coconuts out of small children.

This was Faith's rendition of "M is for Monster" and also sweet dreams Wyatt!!
   Seriously, that's messed up. You can see that Cara tried to add some pink and some hearts and rainbows and MyLittlePonies and stuff to make the whole "M-Is-For-Monster" thing a little less terrifying, but it wasn't too effective. And, it's not like we can take it down, that was Faith's first piece of art!! It belongs on the wall of letters!!

   Here's a picture Wyatt took himself, so we at least we can safely assume that it's not seeping into his pysche or anything and OHMYGOSHTHAT'STERRIFYING

Why would you even go with "M is for Monster" in the first place?!

   It comes as a part of our wall of the alphabet. When Wyatt walks by, we'll often ask him to name each letter. Look!!

   As our more astute readers have noticed, the letter "E" doesn't belong on the wall of letters. We were Entertaining some Energetic Elementary-aged kids and "E" was Eviscerated, so for now Wyatt reads "A, B, C, D, there should be an E here, F, G ..." only he doesn't actually do the part with the E. We don't think he is going to be too screwed up by this.

   Yes, you read that correctly. My ThrEE year old can say the letters up through N, gets read to almost every month, and likes to color and play with Play-Dough that we make ourselves. He likes to help make coffee, can't sing ANY songs, and only eats chocolate and cookies for food. It's pretty clear who the world's greatest parents are. In case it's not clear, it's me and also sometimes Cara.

   That isn't even all of the family art up in the house!! The big thing in the middle was done by yours truly. No, not truly. It was done by Cara, which is weird because it is so geometric which makes you think it's be done by me. The two on the right are some of Wyatt's adventures in water-painting (there are two more on the left, but I couldn't get them all in one shot without having horrible glare. And not in the cool Michael Bay ways).

Art on the walls by Cara and Wyatt. But don't feel bad for me, I have some art that is prominently on display in the trash can. If I were to be honest, that's where it belongs.

  Also here's a picture of our other special kid while sleeping.

Good skin day for Lincoln.
My mood: proud of my brother and a little concerned for his fiancee!!
Wyatt's mood: not wanting to eat anything
Lincoln's mood: wanting to only eat everything all the time
Cara's appetite: making lots of great food for us to eat and also lots of chicken nuggets and fries!!
Listening to: James Taylor

Monday, January 19, 2015

Bedtime Stories!!

Wyatt feeding Lincoln while ... prepping ... for the dentist?

   Guys, we're reading to Wyatt all the time. It's because we are truly superb parents. And, as absolutely wonderful as kids' books are, they can be absolutely awful.

   I am talking about plot, of course. Why, oh why, would any children's book ever try to have a plot?! When I sit down to read a story, I don't want there to be paragraphs, or developing characters, or feelings or anything. I want people hopping on pop and counting fish and eating moldy eggs. But when there is a farmer trying to make it to town and back, with obstacles and funny interactions, ugh. Too many words and pages and too much time. Whenever Wyatt wants to read something about Paddington, or even a thorough George, my heart sinks. I just want it to rhyme and move fast.

   I feel the same way about kids' shows. The less plot, the better. Wyatt has recently gotten back into Jake and the Neverland Pirates. (Funny story, I hope: Wyatt reconnected with the show because he had a dream about it. He has been telling us about his dreams, but it took us a while to figure out that's what was going on. "Dad, I was a could, and the cloud was James, and then, and then, and then I went to school and you were there and mom was not there and you were not there." It's super fun.) One day, after he came to me and said "Dad I watch Jake when I close my eyes!" I told him we weren't going to watch any Jake today. He go sad, but then went to his bed and closed his eyes and hoped to watch more. He was disappointed when it didn't work.

Cara eating Link's cheeks. A pretty common occurrence round these parts.

   Anyways, Jake initially didn't have any of that awful plot stuff. Sure, Jake and his puny pirate friends to save the treasure from Captain Hook and Smee, but the "treasure" was always things like "friendship" or "learning" or "vegetables." The show might've even tried to have some puzzles or counting exercises or something. But they gave up on that pretty quick, and the "treasure" was pretty much just "treasure" and they tried to have some of that stupid plot. They introduced new characters and had story lines that reoccurred and it was horrible. They even gave Captain Hook a mother, for crying out loud!! Now, I just recently saw Hook for the first time, and I can assure you that mothers in Neverland is NOT CANON.

   Plot is the worst. Sing a funny song that doesn't get stuck in my head, have good music and good voice acting, and get on with it. (On that note, you should try watching Justin Time). Still, Wyatt's new favorite thing is for me to be Captain Hook and him to be Jake. I chase him around the house with my finger curled like a hook, yelling things like "I'll get you Jake, if it's the last thing I do!!" or "Come back with me treasure, you puny pirates!!" or "Smee!!!!" or "Blast you, scurvy scallawags!!" or okay you caught me I really like this game.

My mood: not as sleepying as like as I'd much to be
Wyatt's mood: counting gold doubloons.
Lincoln's mood: might not like dairy that much:
Cara's mood: might have to not consume dairy that much (and no more happiness!!)
Listening to: the Friends theme song while watching Friends over and over.