Momming

Saturday, January 26, 2013

New Camera!!

Have I used this one already?

   I've known for a long time that the pictures and videos are the biggest weakness of this blog. You're never going to have a successful mommy blog if you can't get pinned or liked or spread viral diseases or something? I mean, My Kid Is Special has a lot going for it: a hot mom blogging away, cute kid, great writing, endless sarcasm, and a sporadic updating schedule. What we need is to up our visual game.

   Enter the Canon Rebel 3000 Sharp AS Prime Meridian Ultra 2000. It was my gift to Cara for Christmas, by which I mean she wanted the camera and I said "fine go buy it!"

   You might have already noticed some killer, improved pics and vids from before, but let's do a side-by-side comparison.

This is how the new camera takes a picture of the old camera...

...and this is how the old camera takes a picture of the new camera.
    Ooooh, look how dark and unclear that new camera looks when having its picture taken by the old camera. And look at how much smaller the image is. And how fat it makes my fingers looks. My fingers have been described as "dainty" and "just like your sister's!!" so something must be wrong here. Let's move on.
   (Note: if you looked closely you could see my fingers in both of the above photos. That's right, I took the two photos at the same time. Two camera's taking pictures of each other at the same time!? That's gotta be illegal! You're right, it is. There's a small chance it can create a crazy vortex, no one knows which kind though. So don't do it unless you are crazy brave like I am. Also, the old camera takes pictures much faster.)

   So, when we first got the new camera, Cara was of course super excited to use it to take amazing and beautiful pictures. She has a real artistic side that only comes out when she has new things to be artistic with. It's why we have a dresser full of half-started craft ideas. Anyways, this was Cara's first photograph, an artsy, dangerous commentary of the world we live in:

Thanks Cara!! This was a great use of the new camera we took a third second mortgage for.

So not to be outdone, the old camera tried the same thing:

I paid one dollar for this mouse at the goodwill computer store. It also doesn't work anymore.

Just so you know, this is what the internet's picture of a mouse looks like:



   Let's keep on rolling. Here's a picture of our Christmas Holiday Tree with the new camera:

Come on, Cara!! You couldn't even get the whole tree!? Gah!

   And here's a picture of that picture of our tree:

Old camera, you are not looking good right about now.

   Okay, fine, so none of that stuff matters. Here's what matters: Pictures and videos of me and the baby. Here's the new camera taking a picture of the Wy Guy sleeping:

Whoa, didn't see that coming. Who knew that a better camera would just enhance physical blemishes and skin irration? He looks like he has a rash! This is awful.

   And here's the old camera's picture of Wyatt sleeping:

WHAT!? Old Camera!! He's not even asleep!! Can't you do anything right!? You're done.
   Fine, Cara's camera wins. At everything. She won't even let me take picture with it because she thinks I'll break it. She's right in thinking this, but it still bothers me. I guess I'll have to settle for posting only what she deems is appropriate or worthy or cute enough from now on. Ugh, this is a disaster.

My mood: I feel like Paul Bunyon when he lost to the chain saw and train team, only my version is more manly.
Wyatt's mood: we played outside in the sun for like an hour and he's happy!!
Listening to: Our fire roaring.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Going For A Walk!!

   The key to having a baby and then looking good a mere fifteen months later is commitment, exercise and clothing. In that order. If you've been a regular reader here, you know that I go on at least nine walks per day. Usually, Cara and I take Wyatt for a walk, but sometimes Wyatt takes us for a walk.


video

   He'll push the stroller all around the house, for as long as I steer. Unfortunately, I am not a very good steerer, so we hit a couch and then I take a nap.

My mood: cold!
Wyatt's mood: stir crazy!
Listening to: Radiohead

Monday, January 21, 2013

Adventures of Another Man

   Hi. I'm Grant. I don't really do much to introduce myself to the dozens of new readers I get every year, so I'd like to take a chance to do that now. I write a blog about how great I am and how great my son is and how average my wife is. It contains lots of italics and CAPS to stress points. I am rarely serious about anything unless it involves a Nintendo. Here's a picture to really help you get to know us, a picture that might be more informative than one of my typical blog posts:


   If you've seen the "about me" page of my blog, you know that I am a man. You might also have thought "Why does Grant need an "about me" page of his blog when his entire blog is about him?" I once saved another man by pulling him out of a river. I've gotten so lost in the wilderness that I actually hiked off map. I've attacked a house fire with no regard for my own safety. I can eat whole pizzas. I once hit a squirrel with a rock.
   So, you're impressed. How could you not be?
   Lately? You want to know what awesome things I have done in the last two years? Hmm, why do you ask? I fixed a drawer on a desk another man built 20+ years ago. I took down the Christmas lights my wife set up. Um, I changed a flat tire on my minivan manlyvan. Let's see. Gosh, is that it? What happened to me? What happened to Grant: Man?

   My friend Tim, though, now that's a man.

Look at Tim's manly chin. And also that other man behind him. 

   He and I are very similar. We both went to the University of Oregon, have a house and a wife and other similar possessions, and both enjoy the outdoors. He even writes a highly successful blog just like mine!! Go check it out at adventuresofman.com, because if you don't you might not appreciate the rest of the jokes in this post.
   Tim blogs about the same stuff that I do. Where I write about diapers and nap time and strolls, he writes about hiking, climbing, saving lives as a member of search-and-rescue, his time in Iraq, and his dog.
   There it is. There's the difference. His dog. While Tim and I share so many things, my wife and I had a kid and Tim's wife and Tim had a dog. Those things are different, if you weren't sure.
   I'd like to share some of the things that Tim and his wife and his dog do. You might think that this is a violation of Tim's privacy, but don't worry, he posts about his dog on facebook at least seven times per day. Pictures of Tucker napping. Pictures of Tucker not napping. Pictures of Tucker tracking and training and in the morning and on the couch and playing with the cats (oh yeah, they have cats). I should probably mention that Tim's dog's name is "Tucker." These are three pictures from his timeline.

Yawn. Yes, Tucker, that's how we all feel right now.
I think Tucker is the primary beneficiary of Tim's will.
Tim was trying to teach Tucker to ride a tricycle here, but then snoopy got in the way. 

   How on earth is Tim's life so much more exciting than mine?! It revolves around a dog! Sure, he drives a cool big truck AND has a motorcycle, and maybe he and his wife go bmx biking and camping all the time. But Cara and I adventure too! Last week we grabbed a RedBox movie that we had never even heard of (we didn't watch it), and one time we randomly decided to prune our apple tree! How exciting! And who could forget that time I put a pacifier in my mouth THAT HAD A MUSTACHE ON IT!!

What crazy, mischievous fun we had that night!

   Is this what having a baby does? Am I boring now!? No! Well, yes, but, not because of the baby. I was always boring. Now I just have an excuse. "Sorry Tim, I can't summit Mt Hood with you because Wyatt might be fussy in August, so, um, have fun. Would if I could!" This is a way better excuse than "Sorry Tim, the new Pokemon comes out in August and I plan on catching them all!"
   Don't worry, everyone. In a few years Wyatt will be old enough to either come on my adventures, or sit at home by himself if I hide all of my video games. So, I can adventure again soon. But, I guess by then we'll have another kid. And soon we'll have a whole family that is in school and going to ninja practice and breaking things like furniture and societal barriers. I won't be free until they are like 12 and can babysit themselves. But by then I'll be my dad's age when he was my dad and then my life is basically over. Is it worth it? I hope so.


Wy's all like "yeah I know
they're sharp I don't care.


My mood: Wasting my time blogging about my lack of a life
Wyatt's mood: he found some nails to play with!
Listening to: nothing.







Now he's all "what there's nails
everywhere what are you going to do?" 

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Pictures!!

   If you compare my blog word-for-word with other blogs like it, you'll probably find that I am delivering way more content than Michelle over there, for example, who has know idea how to really dive into the meat of a post. I mean, just because Hayden can say "blue" when he points to something blue doesn't mean that she should overlook the significance of the color blue and how it relates to our jobs as parents and life-builders. It's like all she cares about is cute pictures.

   Well, today I am just going to post some cute pictures. This was from a trip to the hardware store, sitting around the house, and a trek to the park near our house, and also near Steve's parent's house if you cared. (He sure does, sheesh. You don't have to bring it up every time I see you Steve.)


We like to let him explore all the inhalable chemicals.

Cara was wondering if she had something up her nose.


Kid loves to swing.


Wyatt was... also... wondering if he had something up his nose?






You're welcome.

Isn't he just the cutest thing ever!! His mom cut his hair and he looks like a little boy. Also, I said I wasn't going to write as much so I'll back off now...

My mood: knocked this blog out in like 5 minutes!! And no videos!
Wyatt's mood: I feel famous!!
Listening to:  Chumbawumba (sp?)

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Let The Kid Be A Kid!!



   Some people might judge us for letting Wyatt do this. In fact, my mom and sister were definitely judging us. As were all the neighbors that walked by. I think the geese even gave me a sideways look. I'll report, you decide.
video

   What's so bad? No pants? Bare skin? Wearing Keens? Letting him have his way in a dirty drain/puddle and a pile of rotten old leaves? Playing in the street? Yeah, okay, maybe that's pretty bad.

   You need to let kids do what they want to do. At all times. This is very important to being a liked parent.

   My mood: all relaxed and chill, dude
   Wyatt's mood: didn't like leaving his new Christmas toy.
   Listening to: Joe Buck.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Removing Barriers

   This is probably the most important thing you will read today. I know that because you are reading a mommy bloggy, which means I can assume you read mommy bloggies plural. If you are reading mommy bloggies plural, you've figured out by now that my kid is more important than other kids because he's the cutest, probably the smartest, and definitely the most special. So, hang on:

   Wyatt is getting taller. I mean, like seriously, this is bad news.

   Just to remind you, Wyatt used to be this tall:

   Note where his head hits those shelves, about 3/4 of the way up. Here's another picture to give you reference, and also to make you sad or make you laugh, depending on if you are a good person or not:


   Note where his head is in relation to that chair. Now, for the last 11 months or so, I've been able to put my dumbphone, keys, wallet, glasses, and swords on top of any of our surfaces and they'd be safe. Not anymore.

Wyatt! There's fourteen dollars and a GameStop membership card in there!
   Do you see that! He can just reach up and grab things now. I count seven counter-top-like surfaces in our house, and he can grab things off five of them. Five!! Now, for my wife it's not such a big deal, because she never put things on the floor anyways. She always comes home, puts all of her stuff on the floor right in the middle of the hallway/living room, and then 18 minutes later demands I find all of the credit cards Wyatt has scattered. If you were to ask her if this is true, she would claim that it was not. This makes her lazy and a liar.

   It gets worse.

   This is our front door. The handle is a lever. He can reach up and grab the lever, which only requires him pulling down to unlatch the door. He's reached up and touched it several times. A couple of days ago he actually opened the front door and walked outside. I would like to remind you that he is 15 months old. To put that in perspective, that's like 8 years old in dog years.
   Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Where on earth can I get a windo like that one!? Those flowers remind me of Beauty and the Beast." You'll be happy to know that it is for sale for 0 dollars.

   It gets worser.
This is a re-creation of the events described below. 
   I was playing video games, he was next to me playing with everything on the floor. I look over, and he has OPENED A BOTTLE OF PILLS!!!! THERE WERE PILLS ALL OVER THE FLOOR. LIKE, MEDICINE PILLS, FROM ONE OF THOSE CHILDPROOF CONTAINERS THAT I CAN'T EVEN OPEN WITHOUT A HAMMER. Sorry, I'll stop yellin-- whoa!! Sorry, I'll get out of italics too.
   Can I sue over this? I don't think he knows how to open these things, I think he was just playing with it and spinning the cap and got lucky. He's actually really smart about how things work. He can turn on my computer, he can unplug and plug in the power cord to the laptop, he almost put a USB connection into the computer, something I can't do on the first try unless I'm really feeling it, and in general he has good cheekbones too. Pretty much the total package.
   He definitely didn't get a chance to put them in his mouth, as I turned and freaked out as soon as I heard the pills rattle to the floor. Why did he have the pills in the first place? They make a great rattle.
 
   Okay, you get it. We're reaching new levels of Things Wyatt Can Do and his mom and dad are having a tough time keeping up. But we'll get there, don't you worry.

My mood: perpetually terrified
Wyatt's mood: pushing all the limits
Listening to: Third Eye Blind

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Snow!!!!

That's snow! It's important I tell you this because
you wouldn't have discerned it on your own!!
   Well, if you were on facebook Monday, December 17th, then you were acutely aware of the fact that it was snowing!! What?! How on else could you possibly have known that without facebook?
   Anyways, this was the first time Wyatt has been around snow and able to walk. In Eugene, snow turns to not snow pretty quick, so Cara woke the baby up, threw him in some clothes, and threw him outside. Just look!!


video



   Okay, that was pretty boring. Most of the videos my wife takes are like that, really. There was no action or suspense, certainly no drama, I don't know what the point was.
   So, um, we've got another video of him in the snow. I wouldn't really bother watching it if I were you. It's more of the same. I just feel the need to post it, because, you know, it happened. It was his first time in the snow and we need a record that it happened. And this is a mommy bloggy which means that everything my son does is newsworthy!! It's like, him experiencing things makes up for the fact that I haven't experienced anything in months!! It's good! So, watch this one!!

video


   See, I was totally right. Just an adorable kid walking around in the snow, not really liking it. Nothing to see, let's move along.

   Funny thing is, the kid loves ice. Like, when we want to distract him, we'll grab some ice cubes and throw them in a glass and watch him go to town on those things. He'll hold them, suck on them, dump them and stack them. His lips turn blue and eventually he can't really move his fingers. It's adorable. One of the cuter things he does. So we're a bit surprised he doesn't love snow, but maybe that has something to do with the fact that he was asleep 6 minutes before these videos were filmed.
   Next year, when we receive our glorious 57 minutes of snow, we'll make sure to take better advantage of it.

My mood: edgy
Wy's mood: playful
Listening to: Mumford and Sons