Thursday, January 26, 2012


It's what televisions are for.
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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Need a Photographer?

     I've always been a HUGE fan of photography. It was my dream to grow up to be a photographer for National Geographic, or a Marine Biologist, or a famous singer or dancer or actor, or something equally exciting and adventurous. But wouldn't you know it, I got married, had a kid and settled down. Adventure won't come to my door anytime soon.
     But dreams don't have to die! I have decided to start my own little cottage photography business!! I'm so excited. To be a good photographer, all you need is a camera, right? Well I've got two! One on my phone and one that's just a camera!

     What's my first subject going to be? Well, Wyatt of course!! We'll start with some themes, like, "working around the house"

What a man!

Sleep is work, mama! (FYI: It's blurry on purpose! It's more artsy that way! If there are any pictures that come out blurry - or out of center, or with my thumb in the way - you probably just don't get what I am trying to say about society.)

(Oh! Also! I learned how to do a "jump," or "break," where more great stuff comes later on! Check it out!! This is where I say something like "Hit the jump to see my other styles!!" Unless you are already at the jump, then this looks out of place, I guess.)

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Punch Drunk

     It's 8:00 am. Cara asks me to go get the baby from his crib. I'm tired and feel loopy, my vision is blurry. I stumble into the nursery, grab the baby, and head back to our room, trying in vain to piece together the events from last night.
     I can't do it.
     So I ask Cara for help.

     "Did you get him last night?"
     "So, did he sleep through the night?!"

     Tonight around 6:00 there will be a party at my house. It is in celebration of this joyous, momentous occasion. Not since Cara took Wyatt to her parents' house like 3 months ago have I slept through the night. And not since ever has Wyatt slept through the night. I would like you all to join in our excitement.
     I also plan to throw parties for the first time he grabs his own pacifier and puts it in his own mouth, for when he is potty trained, and for when he moves out of the house. But I do love him, really.

     Wyatt's cousins came over to play!! They are about three years old and, I dunno, 7 months old? We love having a house full of babies and family, there's something cute happening all the time!! They stayed the night, and it was weird hearing a baby cry at night but not having it be mine. It's nice to know there are other people in the world suffering like me.
     Whenever Wy's cousins come over we have kids shows on all the time. By "kid's shows," I don't mean Spongebob or Phineas and Ferb or Power Rangers (though I do look forward to that time in our lives), but shows where people move very slowly and rarely, everyone faces the screen and talks super clearly, and there are always lessons about responsibility and safety and making friends. I feel like I am learning a lot.

     Wyatt is getting so big! I looked at him last night and realized that he's not a tiny infant any more! People always say to me "they grow up so fast" and "you blink and there in school" and "please don't eat all the pie this time," but I always ignored them. Now I see that they are right! Wow.

No pictures in this one!!

My mood: groggy yet refreshed
Baby's mood: still sleepy!
Listening to: theme songs of kids shows are running through my head

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

We're Learning Some New Skills!

     Lots of stuff has happened in the past few days. First, we got our first legitimate giggle out of Wyatt!! We were laying in bed - baby, mommy and daddy - and mom and I were laughing hard and for a long time at mom. She's kind of ridiculous. After a while Wyatt joined in and let out a loud, clear giggle!! It was probably the most precious thing that has ever happened!! Angels cried and puppies danced all over the world. I'm glad he knows that it's always okay to laugh at someone else when that person is an absolute crazy face.

     The next day, while mommy was at work bud daddy was also working taking of the baby because it's like a job too but maybe even more important, Wyatt hit another milestone. He's been grabbing and pulling and pushing everything he can get his little nails on (when is she going to cut those?!) for a while now, but this time something different happened. I was giving him the bottle, he put both hands around it, and then he held it there on his own!! For a few seconds! I was able to let go and he was still able to drink!! It was so fun.

Got a quick pic with my cellphone, so it's a bit blurry

     I'm a little worried about how much Wyatt enjoys watching TV or staring at computer screens. It's nice because it calms him down, but I feel like it's a bad sign. Still, maybe it would be different if we didn't spend all day watching Netflix, sitting in one spot.

Wyatt and mommy playing a computer game while I cook and clean probably

     And, in my never-ending-quest to stay young and attractive, we've brought an exercise bike into the living room, mostly because that's classy. So now I can workout while taking care of the baby AND playing on my Playstation!! Multi-tasking is the essence of true parenthood.

That is a cry of excitement. Also, notice how
my legs are moving so fast they're blurry!! Way
to go, dad! You're an inspiration to us all.

My mood: cleaning cleaning cleaning and cleaning
Baby's mood: bored
Listening to: Red Hot Chili Peppers

Sunday, January 15, 2012

When Knees Look Like Breasts

     Wyatt loves to Superman. Really, who doesn't? When I put him up on my knees or hold him above my head he gets a huge grin every time. I thought I'd try to get a picture of that, and then something different happened.

     When I put him on my knees, while laying on my back, I realized that I had never done this before while wearing shorts -- always pants. Through the camera, my knees kind of looked like hairy boobs.

As males, Wyatt and I are able to see boobs in anything

     Then!!! Wyatt might have thought they were hairy boobs!

Hair tastes bad, Wyatt.

  He sucked on my left knee for half a second, then quit and sucked on my right for half a second. I doubt he actually thought he might get milk out of those things, but I can dream.

     I made sure to get a non-pornographic shot or two, but he's not smiling nears as much as he usually does. Probably because of the disappointing day he just had.

Who put you in this collared onesie? Kind of weird, really.

     Ever read a post with the word "boobs" so many times?! Don't answer that, because it might reflect poorly on you. Really, this might get flagged for all sorts of naughty things by search engines...

     In a related note, I am still having a hard time finding jeans to fit me post-baby!! I'm not going to spring for 7's while at this size, so I might just stick to tried-and-true TruReligion. I don't know.

My mood: wanting to be shopping!
Baby's mood: he feels cheated
Listening to: coldplay

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Our New Favorite Game

     Wy has learned yet another new skill. It's like he's leveling up in motor skills every few days!! I've already talked about how he'll grab my finger and try to pull it towards his mouth, with varying degrees of success.

Well, watch this video, that is in no way too long. It's also not boring, and it doesn't lack action:

     How many three-and-a-half-month-olds do you know that can do that?! My guess is none, but probably because you don't currently know a lot of three-and-a-half-month-olds right now. Also, those were my hands in the video!! On the internet!! Wow. Don't his little squeals of joy just make your heart melt? I'm pretty sure they aren't squeals of frustration.

     Actually, I kind of think I got my first glare from him today, where he was all "why haven't you fed me yet?! Do you have any idea what you're doing?! Don't you realize that mommy and both grammas are better at this!?" It kind of hurt.

I love putting him in clothes that are too big. Hoodies in particular.
     Today we took five videos and 23 pictures! Staying at home is so fulfilling, never let anyone tell you otherwise.

My mood: super fulfilled!!
Baby's mood: tired of laying on his back
Listening to: coldplay (live)

Monday, January 9, 2012


     We walk in circles! We sing songs! You yawn over and over! You drink from the bottle (the good kind)!! You lay down and suck on that pacifier! Why on earth won't you fall asleep!?

     I know what you're thinking. You're thinking of course he's not asleep, you took a picture of him with the flash while he was in the crib!! Well you're wrong! It's the other way around! He was already awake and acting like and angel! I might as well take a picture!! Don't you see now!
     You might also be thinking It's only like 1:00, based on your timestamp up there. Get over it! Or maybe, perhaps more accurately, you might thinking If he's awake, why on earth are you writing a blog post?! Get off my case! I'm tired! Finally, you are probably thinking Wow you use italics a lot!! Well played.

Baby's mood: stubborn
My mood: sleepy and frustrated!!
Listening to: The Dixie Chicks

Saturday, January 7, 2012


I pinned the snot out of this
     I know I am not the first person to find Pinterest, but holy cow is it wonderful! You can find so much inspiration for your crafts or decorating, or for all of those dream vacations that I know I will take as soon as the baby gets a little older.

     I'm still getting a feel for it, but it's hard to find the right combination of mommy and manly on there. If you'd like to follow and see the trainwreck, go for it. But basically, I find myself pinteresting and assume you will too.

     Do I want to post pictures of my son on there? Is there such thing as a pinterest killer yet? Do you say pin-interest like my wife does? That's not at all annoying. Neither is it annoying that she always holds the fact that she works and produces milk over my head. But follow me on pinterest...

Friday, January 6, 2012

My Best Baby-Having Advice

     To all of you potential, soon-to-be first time moms out there like myself. Please, please heed this advice:

     Netflix Instant.

     It is the most valuable, important, life-and-sanity saving thing you can do to prepare for having a baby. Don't worry about diapers and cribs, or fomulas and bottles, or asking yourself "How early is too early to start spanking?" The answer is 4 months. Four months is too early.
     No, just make sure you have some sort of medium to entertain yourself without needing to change DVDs manually.

     You will spend so much time sitting in one place while you feed, rock, or just trying to keep that baby asleep while precariously perched on your still-not-flat belly that you can't move. And television is no good during the day. Even the internet requires too much mouse-moving.

     Get Netflix Instant.

     I have watched so much TV on Netflix in the past two years four months that I think I am a wonderful source of knowledge for shows that are worth watching. I thought I'd compile them in a list. I'll be adding to it and updating it as I find more, and feel free to suggest shows to me as well, but consider this your one stop for the best television on Netflix.

     It's posted over there. Under pages.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Sniffles :(

     Wy hasn't been sleeping great these past few nights. He has a cold and his nose is all stuffed. When he is trying to sleep he sounds like it's hard to breath and it makes me sad.

     But!! Today was a nice day so we went for a walk, then sat outside and read, and then went for a walk in another neighborhood until mommy got off work! He was really calm and happy and able to breath just fine. (I know you check this blog just to hear about my baby's moods).

Wyatt's chair is both more comfy and more
expensive than mine. And it vibrates! Not fair!!

This was the only jacket I could find to put him in, and it's waaaaay to big! I hope no one things I'm a bad parent!

We saw the weirdest thing on our second walk. We drove to a different neighborhood to take in the sights, and guess what we saw!? Wyatt actually pointed it out to me. It looks like a box cutter that was pressed into the road when it was being made. It's like an imprint or a fossil of a time long forgotten. What a fun adventure we had!!

Follow Me!!

     Today was just another day in paradise, watching the little baby for HOURS while he cries, fusses, squirms and poops.
     Some people think I write this blog for attention, or because it's a cry for help, but no! I think the world needs to know how amazing my little son is. There are things about him that make him unique, like the fact that he once beat me in a staring contest. I never lose staring contests. I once beat a stuffed elk. How did he do that?! Because he's extraordinary, so I need to document it.
     So no, I don't need you to "like" this blog, or click the links to the right and "follow" it or become a "member." I don't need you to "validate" me in that way. Being a stay-at-home-dad-while-my-wife-supports-the-family is validating enough.
      But, if you want to know when I update, or, um, maybe some other things, then become a member! It would sure make me happy!! I just want to know how many people actually read this and like me and want to be my friend. Just click the links on the right.
     Also, you might see some creepy little ads popping up in the near future... Heh...

How can you say no to this precious little newborn face?

My mood: insecure
Baby's mood: really wants you to become a member of this blog!!!
Listening to: Nothing so the baby sleeps

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Adorable Little Baby

The sucking phase. Is there a sucking phase? It should probably
be renamed so it doesn't sound so, um, derogatory.

     My son has picked up a new, precious little skill. No, not farting. Farting is hilarious, not adorable.
     A couple days ago I'd open up my hand and put it in front of his face. He'd slowly, methodically, pick a finger and try to grab it. Once he grabbed a finger (usually my pointer finger or pinky, which are definitely two of my best three fingers) he'd pull it towards his mouth to suck on it or chew it with his super-weird-feeling gums. Coordination! Not a Gilchrist strength, so I am glad he is working on it early.
     (If you're curious, I am pretty sure Gilchrist strengths boil down to sarcasm and self-deprecation)

He just wants to work those gums! If only dad had any sort
of nutrient or valuable asset to provide besides dirty fingers.

     What was super cute, though, was when he would pull it towards his mouth, sometimes he'd miss. My finger would hit the corner of his mouth and sometimes square in his cheek. It's like he knew it was in the wrong spot, but couldn't fix it. It was so cute!!
Blurry, but you get the idea.

     But what was EVEN CUTER, was when he'd pull my finger towards his mouth, and as it got closer and closer, he'd turn from my finger to his little fist and suck on his fist. My finger would be centimeters from his mouth, he'd still be staring at it, but he'd start sucking on his own fist. I don't even know if he knew the difference! So adorable.

It was even CUTER than this looks!

     Also, here's a picture of us being adorable together. Well, at least I am.

He's sleeping in his favorite sleeper, which is called "snugglesaurus."
I didn't name it, it actually says that on the label. It is aptly named.