Thursday, March 28, 2013

Sappy One!!

  I've realized that if I'm ever going to get more than nine page views per day, (and finally win the respect of my father-in-law), I need to get sappy. Like, super-sappy-share-it-on-facebook-because-you-were-crying sappy. So, I've read a couple sappy blogs and think I can pull this off.

Partial Eclipse of My Face, kind of like a Total Eclipse of the Heart

   Darkness. Is that all there is? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love being a parent, but sometimes it's just like ugh. Why? Is this what it's supposed to be like? I guess I haven't really said anything substantial yet, but, just give me some time to get there, okay?

   It is so hard raising ONE CHILD when you and your wife both work, and when your parents and sister and your wife's parents and sister are able to babysit whenever you want. Sometimes I go to bed at night - if I get a chance to go to bed at all, between Wyatt wanting to play, eat, poop, pee, laugh, crawl, cry, breathe, knock things over, go for walks, draw on the walls (the walls!) fuss, throw tantrums, and cuddle - and don't even know how I will make it through the next day, where I'll drop Wyatt of at my mom's, go to work, pick Wyatt up from my mom's go home and watch TV for a few hours.
   Some nights I stay up, cashing in my bad luck. Some nights, I call it a draw. But I still wake up, and I still see Wyatt's face. And, I don't know, don't get me wrong, I'm still not sure what I stand for. But then I look into my nephew's eyes and, man, you won't believe. The most amazing things.
   It's like I'm too tired to cry, but it's all I know how to do anymore.


   Don't get me wrong. Being a parent is the most rewarding and wonderful thing anyone could ever do besides jet skiing. It's worth it in those little moments. Those precious moments where Wyatt says "meow!" after I ask him what sound a cow makes (what!? Cow's don't make that sound!). Those precious moments where Wyatt puts his shoulder on my head and falls asleep without me prompting him, and then I'm all like "whoa why is your shoulder on my head this is weird." Those wonderful, precious little moments where he feeds himself, cleans up after himself, and then decides to dump the remaining baby food all over the rug. Precious moments, every day, that keep me going and help me remember why I do what I do besides the fact that I legally have to do what I do. Also, I think "Precious Moments" could make a good merchandise line. Store that one away.

   Hmm. I've noticed you're not crying yet. This is a problem. I need to up my game a bit. What if I showed you this clip while reminding you that every dog that has ever played Lassie is dead. (Quick tangent: It is my dream to change my sister's ringtone to the Lassie theme, so that whenever she gets a call she will start crying. I know what you're thinking, you're thinking "Grant that is like the most achievable dream I have ever heard, why don't you just go do that right now?" Well, judgemental blog reader, I haven't done it because I am so tired from raising a single healthy child and some nights I wish my lips could build a castle and stuff. You're also thinking "Just because your sister cries at the Lassie theme song doesn't mean we all will." Yeah okay fine but did you remember the part where they're all dead?! Watch.)

Monday, March 25, 2013

Prettiest One!!

Remember this boyishness as you keep reading.

   I tell Cara two things regarding her makeup: 1) She's so pretty she doesn't need to wear it (awww) and also 2) For crying out loud keep it out of reach of Wyatt!!

   He's grabbed her foundation and played with it on at least four occassions. To teach Cara a lesson, and just to see what would happen, I let him go to town this last time. See!

That's the first of many, lucky you!! This one has a bit more action in it.

A little later, after I put some clothes on him, he found a different thing of makeup to play with, in the other bathroom.

Finally, I gave up on trying to even care anymore.

   A lesser man might be nervous about the fact that his son is playing with makeup so... effectively. Not me! I'm not a lesser man! I'm a greater man! I'm not worried and we definitely didn't spend the next three days watching sports and war movies and practicing standing and peeing.

My mood: oh so proud
Wy's mood: pretty!! On the inside and the out

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Bike Wash!!

   Wyatt has been especially adorable lately. New haircut, cute clothes, speaking in gibberish and trying to do whatever I do. It's just the most precious thing! (Sometimes I feel especially maternal when writing things like this, so we are going to take a more butch tone moving forward).

   I wanted to take him for a bike ride today using our wonderful bike trailer (although if you're in the market for one, (you could start here). This would be the first time he was old enough to not have to ride in the bike trailer like this, but like a regular, well-adjusted kid. I pulled the trailer out of storage and saw that it had gotten a decent amount of mold, so I attacked it like a facebooker on gun control.

   I scrubbed and scrubbed and Wyatt watched very interested. I finished and went to grab the pump, turned around and saw this happening:

   The little dude grabbed my brush, dipped it in the soapy water and started scrubbing. Light, barely-touching-the-fabric scrubbing. I'd say it was super sweet, but I'm a man so I am going to say it was about time.

   If you'd like to see a minute and ten seconds of shaky-cam footage, be my guest:

   This trend has been picking up steam for a while now. We've put a new floor in our kitchen, and he loves to help with this process too. Here's some pictures to prove it:

Monday, March 4, 2013

We Are Never Homeschooling

   A few days ago, Cara gave me a pop quiz: What sound does a doggie make? I could tell she was asking in a way to see what I would tell Wyatt, should the subject come up. I racked my brain and, against my better judgement, went with "bow wow" over "bark bark." She was livid. No dog has ever said "bow wow" unless it's in a bad pop song.

   Fair enough.

   Apparently a dog says "woof woof." Now I know better and will be sure to never get it wrong again, although I feel like "arf arf," and "ruff ruff" are acceptable as well. Do all dog words come in pairs?

   Today I saw this on the floor of the nursery:

   There was a moment where I really hoped Wyatt had written those words. Woff woof. Ugh. I am going to be sick. Nevermind the fact that the dog is cross eyed or has an arrow for a nose. I should be happy that Cara is trying to teach Wyatt to recognize pictures and animals and associate sounds. But I am rapidly getting to the point where I'd rather leave Wyatt with my mom and her iPad then with Cara alone. 

Woff woof everyone.

My bad: very, very depressed and nervous
Wyatt's mood: sleepy sleepy
Listening to: Jack Johnson
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