Tuesday, November 24, 2015

The Keys of Parenting!!

   Guys, Wyatt is so cute!! Lately he's been hiding things and it's adorable and in no way disruptive. For example, I wasn't able to find my wallet for like two weeks. It turns out it was behind the shredder. Under a desk. Against a wall. Case solved!

This picture pretty much sums up our interactions lately. Thanks to Kaela Mey Photography.
   One day our remote was dead. I set it on the couch, figuring I'd change out the batteries once I found the strength to get up and walk over to the closet that might have the batteries. The next day, I noticed the remote wasn't in the living room at all. I asked Wyatt where the remote was. He said "I put it away because it doesn't work." I ask where he put it. He does something he does all the time: Put a finger on his chin, look off into the distance, and say "Hmmm, let me think," like he's young Sherlock Holmes or something. Don't get me wrong, he's smart enough to be Sherlock, just like his dad, but this is just a role he likes to play. He says, a few moments later "Oh! I know! It's under the couch!" He goes under the couch and grabs the remote, where it was safely stored because it was broken. "Here you go! I put it under the couch."

   He's the best.

   Well, it's been about 4 weeks, and I have no idea where my keys are. Like, none. I have torn the house to shreds, checked every drawer, box, cabinet, corner, and under every bed. I know they are in the house somewhere. Remember how bad Wyatt is at hide and seek? He's really good at Hide The Keys. Almost every day, I ask Wyatt if he knows where my keys are.
   Yesterday, when I inquired as to the location of my keys, he exclaims "I know!!" (I get excited). "Let me check my map!" (I groan). He grabs my hand and excitedly runs to the map of Africa in his room. Well, South Africa. Not the country, just, like, a map of not-all-of-Africa. It's the weirdest map. We got it for super cheap at an Oregon State University warehouse sale, when Cara was on a "let's decorate our house with maps of very specific geographical regions that we've never been to" kick. He runs to the map, points to a few places, and says "Here it is!" (Mopepi, Botswana). "Let's go there dad!" We then run to the Mopepi part of the house. It's not there.

This map of Central/Southern Africa hangs above Wyatt's bed. Crookedly, apparently. We're preparing him for that big geography test on the region that he'll take some day, hopefully.

    He says "Oh I need my finder machine." He runs to his DUPLOs and builds a finder machine. It is a bunch of bricks with a window on top, I think supposed to be like a magnifying glass. He says "This will help us find it! (Lincoln is totally enthralled and following us everywhere). "Finding machine says letter "e," Gad!" (He still calls me "Gad" and this will last forever).

Finder Machine 3.0

   If you're struggling to keep up, he built a finder machine that spits out letters. He built a weejee board. Because that's how you spell that.

   He asks "What's "e" start with?!" This is how he asks "What words start with the letter "e?"" I do a good job of parenting and say "KEYS." "Kuh-EEEEEEES." He says "Oh we need Yittle Red Car!" Little Red Car is his favorite car this hour. He grabs Little Red Car. It may or may not be a blue car. Little Red Car drives along the couch and does a few flips. I ask him where my keys are. He says "Wait dad, Yittle Red Car is still doing tricks."

   When the pretty-awesome tricks are done, I ask where my keys are. He decides we need help from "The Pups." The pups are his imaginary puppies that run everything in this household. I have to open the trunk when we hop in the car so they have space. Sometimes, one of them sits on my lap when we drive. Often, they need to be fed or rescued or are tired or are not tired or do something funny.
   The pups are no help. Keys are not found. Spare Keys are starting to become Only Keys.

Here's a picture of Lincoln in his Halloween costume. He was a dragon, Wyatt was a knight. Who didn't want to wear armor or have a shield or a helmet. Wyatt was a kid with a sword. Who had his mom hold the sword. Wyatt was a kid who got candy.

Although, from this angle, it sort of looks like Sarah from the purple dinosaur show. That was her name, right, Sarah? No I will not google this,

   The other day, Cara jokes and says "I am going to change the locks on the house while you are at work." I said "Actually, all you have to do is just lock the doors right now. I don't have any keys. You could even come home, walk past me on the porch, unlock the door, go inside, and lock the door. No need to waste our money on new locks." She considered this at length.

My mood: So very irritated (while waiting for Cara to come home and let me in)
Wyatt's mood: Excited about everything
Lincoln: Thinking hard about taking a step.
Cara's mood: Thinking hard about upgrading at husband.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Wedding Photos!! Sort of!!

   We've not had a picture dump here at MKIS for a while. There's actually a tragic backstory to this. Uncle Garrett got married to Aunt Faith back in July. Don't worry, they weren't related before the wedding. Of course, ring-bearer Wyatt had an absurd amount of adorable photos. Some taken by the wedding photographer, but lots by Cara and I. 

   Sadly, towards the end of the big day, the SD card in our camera became corrupted. All the photos were lost. And, I mean, look at what you are missing out on, world:

This was actually the "You may now kiss the bride" part of the wedding. Wyatt thought he should insert himself now or forever hold his peace.

Look at how happy they are. Too bad it can't last.

Look at how happy we are!! It'll last forever!!
   These pictures were taken by our friend Kaela, over at Kaela Mey Photography. She was the Wyatt photographer. I mean, wedding photographer. We, however, are pretty devastated by the lost pictures from that SD card. I won't go on and on about it, but know that there was good stuff in there. Here are some second rate pictures, that were not lost:

This is Lincoln's first time wearing a helmet!! And first bike ride!!

This photo is titled "About to sunburn."

Is he cross-eyed? 

This was before he consumed seven leaves.

Wyatt is firmly entrenched in the "trying to smile but actually just baring teeth" stage.

Whereas Link is stuck in the "What does this taste like? Oh. Steel" stage.

It took like 600 pictures to get a good one.

Link, however, only needs one shot to bust a move like this.

You're welcome.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Musical Talents!!

   Wow, people. We did not see this coming. It turns out that my sons might be musically inclined.

   You've seen Wyatt dance. Should I just post that video again? No, I'll link to it here instead, but anyways, rhythm and coordination and magnificent physical gifts is something Cara and I expect out of our offspring. I mean, come on...

   But singing?! And playing music? And rhythm and coordination?! No.

   Wyatt has taken up the piano. By "piano" I really mean the toy piano that sounds like a tin can underwater. He plays one song and only one song: The X-Files theme. Remember it? Doo doo doo doo DOO doo. That one. He calls it Boulder's Song, because, yknow, Mulder. (He also tells mom she's like Scully when she does something well, and asks "Can we watch Boulder and Scully?" Because parenting.)

   Cara and I also throw little dance parties pretty often. We'll turn off the lights, play some bumpin' tunes, and dance around Lincoln. He gets super curious and has a big grin. All of the above information has lead to him doing a little jig when he hears that X-Files theme:

Here's Wyatt trying to play the horrible piano-toy thing:

   Let me go back a step. There's no reason my kids should have such clear and wonderful musical talents. Sure, Cara loves to sing and make up songs. By this I mean, she sings and makes up songs only around when I am around and they are the most formulaic, predictable songs you can imagine. Let me sing some for you:

   "Hey Lincoln, Ho Lincoln, Where'd you get those rolls, Lincoln?" (this is her favorite lately)

   "If your name is Lincoln put your hands in the air, put your hands in the air if your name is Lincoln."

   "If your name is Lincoln then your name is Lincoln, yeah your name is Lincoln." (seriously)

   "Daddies put your hands in the ai-air!! Daddies put your hands in the ai-air!!"

   She has a particular formula that goes like this: "Noun-Verber, Verbing the Nouns!!" Here's what I mean. I'll say something like "I'm going to go mow the lawn." She immediately sings "Lawn mower, mowing the la-awns!!"

   "Wyatt just ran down the hall." "Hall Runner, running the ha-alls!! (It always has that pause in the last word. I mean, wor-ord.)

   "I need you to make dinner." "Dinner maker, making the di-nner!!" "What?! No! That wasn't even the right noun-verb format!!"""Verb format, formatting the ver-erbs!!"

   This happens anytime in the car, as well. Sometimes she just sings all the signs to me. (Was that a hard sentence to read, "sings the signs"?) "Crosswalker, walking the crosses!!" "Speed Limit, limiting spee-eeds!!"

   You get the idea. She was really the inspiration for TSwizzle's "Shake it Off" where the hater's gonna hate-hate-hate-hate-hate and the verbers gonna verb-verb-verb-verb-verb. Sometimes, Cara will pause and say "Do you think I have a chance to make it in Hollywood?" I say something about one in a million and she says something about me saying there's a chance and I'm stuck with this for the rest of my life but anyways. The point is Wy and Link are getting no musical talent from the Maternal Side.

   (Sorry, that kind of got away from me for a while there. Here's another picture of cute kiddos.)

I know you can't see their cute little faces, but it made me real happy to see the play at the work bench like this,

   From the paternal side, there's not much either. As a kid my parents had me in piano lessons for a while and guitar lessons for a few hours, but I wasn't interested in practicing anything that didn't involve a Pikachu, so I have no instrumental talent. And in terms of singing, my voice is described at worst as "passable" and at best as "stupidly glorious," but we can't evaluate Wyatt's singing yet. The songs he sings are primarily the two theme songs to Strawberry Shortcake. One of them he sings like this: "Strawberry Shortcake come," to the tune of that church song "Come Lord Jesus, Come." It's cute and sacreligious all at once. Also, theme songs.

My mood: glad to be back
Wy's mood: watching the pups
Link's mood: Standing and thinking of walking!!
Cara's mood: more x-files.
Listening to: theme songs,