Monday, January 2, 2017

Discerning Which Kid Is Cuter!!

 Pretty handsome guy here. And Lincoln is turning into a bit of a stunner himself.

   Do you guys remember when Harry started to look better than Will? I am talking about British royalty, of course. There was a distinct moment when it looked like Charles's royal genes were going to outweigh Diana's in the maturing Prince William's life, while Harry seemed to be pulling more from the Diana side. That's basically what's happening with Wyatt and Lincoln right now, but only on a much more dramatic and world-impacting scale. This will take me some time to unpack, so bear with me:

This is a picture I took of the princes. We were all at "Prince Fest" which, I know, sounds like a music festival but was actually a camp for princes or people who should be princes. I was a photographer. This was taken while Will shouted "Dang it you got mom's genes! And jeans!"
   Let's recognize. I'm sure you've noticed that Lincoln is cute. Like, WAY cuter than he used to be, and ... dare I say it ... cuter than Wyatt. It's true. There are two main factors here and let's start with the second because it's the most important:

   2) Kids get less cute as they get older. Wyatt isn't two anymore. And sure, he says things like "resplode" instead of "explode," "recide" instead of "decide," "resplain" for "explain" and "remember" for "dismember",,, and ... "remember," but Wyatt is firmly entrenched in the "telling jokes" stage of his youth, which I think lasts for about seventeen years. He only knows two jokes, so, I hope you haven't heard these:

Wyatt: *ring ring ring!*
You, with a phone to your ear: "Hello?"
Wyatt: "Is your refrigerator running?"
You, sadly: "Yes. *groans*"
Wyatt: "Well then you better go have to go catch it!"


Wy: Knock Knock!
You: Who's there?
Wy: Interrupting Cow!
You: Interruptin-
Wy: Moo!!"

If it was just these two jokes, that'd be barely tolerable, but now he's trying to make up jokes, which usually goes like this:

Wy: Hey Dad. Why did the house make pancakes?
Me: If this isn't funny you are grounded.
Wy: Because he wanted breakfast. Isn't that so funny!? That a house would want breakfast! Isn't that so much like a joke!?

"Isn't that so much like a joke," has become our most used phrase in this house, just above "Will you please just take out the trash it's been like three weeks!" It's hard because he is so excited to tell jokes, and they're never any good. What's more, if we laugh at it, it only encourages him to tell more, which we cannot have. But they just keep coming, and it is eating way into his cuteness.

1)   Look at that face. My goodness. This kid has gotten cute. And you can pair his actual-good-looks with his two-year-old, trying-to-be-a-person mannerisms and we have a downright cuteness coup on our hands.

I love how a two year old can communicate pretty much whatever he wants with only a handful of words and gestures. "Bus," "puppy," and "choo" tell us the shows he wants to watch (he could just say "boring," "lame" and "makes you want to harm yourself." The only show for toddlers that I can stand is the indefatigable George). He will bring us boxes of applesauce when he is hungry. He can open the fridge and find the yogurt. He brings diapers to us when he's gone potty (but then runs away as I try to change him). He can say hellos and goodbyes in ways that let you know if he actually cares if you exist or not. Anything he can't communicate, he can point to or instruct me to follow him by holding up his adorable little index finger. (When we walk, he holds my finger instead of my hand. It allows for great fart-joke opportunities. So when he wants to lead me somewhere, he holds up a finger. I then put out my finger, he grabs it, and leads me invariably to the pantry or one of Wyatt's toys on the mantel.)

Slightly oversize clothes and soaking wet shoes make for a stunning picture. 

Best of all, Lincoln gives the cutest, most excited "Whoa!'s" in history. They are the greatest thing in my life right now. I am hoping to get every second of his first snow on camera, and then splice his "Whoa!'s" with a Joey Lawrence montage.

Figuring out how to balance the raising of two kids isn't easy, and I don't know if I always do it right. Wyatt has a rough deal because he's been taught to share, and not to fuss or hit, and is able to speak. This means that when Lincoln takes, steals, fights, and fusses, Wyatt is stuck dealing with someone breaking his rules. He then whines and complains, yells at Link or lashes out - all things he knows not to do - and I have to parse out if Link took from Wy, or if Wy is overreacting, or if Cara is to blame (which is usually the case). What helps is that Wyatt loves his brother, and thinks he's just so cute. Luckily, neither of them have any idea of how cute they actually are.

My mood: been sick for about 5 days. Luckily it'll end right before school starts again.
Wy's mood: fussy today, but we worked past it
Link's mood: thinking about potty training himself
Cara's mood: sick of me being sick for about 5 days
Listening to: The Lumineers

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