Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Every Day Is Another Miracle

     I've started to notice that all of the adorable, precious things that Wyatt began to do for the first time have become commonplace. The first time he grabbed my hand and pulled it towards his mouth, I thought it was wonderful. Now when he grabs something I just expect it to end up in his mouth. The only thing cute about it is that he seems to think that his mouth is a magical space that will solve all of his problems. (Is he right?!)

     But then I got clever. I noticed that his xylophone is played with a... stick... with a... ball... on the end of it. A stickball thing. I bet he likes the stickball thing. I bet this gets interesting.

     Well, I'll let you be the judge of whether or not it's interesting. But, there's lots to watch!

     We start with his first exposure to the... stickball thing.

     What is that? How can I get that in my mouth? I am pretty sure those are the only two questions he ever asks of anything. I should grunt my fascination a couple of times.

     He tries again:

     He actually put it a bit too far into his mouth there at the end. But since I am such a good parent and in no way irresponsible for doing this in the first place, I pulled it out as soon as I got a good shot.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Strangers In The Park

     One of the best things about having a little baby is all of the smiles and friendly hellos that come from strangers everywhere. Whenever we go into the store, or for a walk in the stroller (which we do four times a day, no matter what, and usually it's more like seven times) people are always stopping to take a look and say what a beautiful baby my wife and I make.
     Today Wyatt and I were strolling through the nice neighborhood that shares a street with my neighborhood. As I walked by the park, there were three elderly ladies coming the other direction. They stopped to look and coo over the baby. "What a happy little boy!" one of them says. "What a handsome face!" another exclaims.
     "Oh, you'll grow into those ears someday, Wyatt" the third woman says. She has a smile on her face, but she is judging him.
     Then she looks over at me and finishes her thought.
     "Your dad did."

     "You'll grow into those ears someday, Wyatt. ... Your dad did."

You're looking at his ears, aren't you. Jerk.

     I guess they do kind of stick out. I guess mine did. But still, he's so adorable!! I think he's the most adorable.

     We're never going outside around the awful people again.

     My Mood: Self Conscious
     Wyatt's Mood: Reacting to my self consciousness
     Listening to: REM

Friday, February 17, 2012

Another Dreary Day in Paradise

     It's grey out. I'm home alone with the baby. He didn't sleep great last night and doesn't seem tired today. He just wants to be held (who doesn't?).
     What else is there to do when you're bored and it's about to rain? Shopping!!

     ... for groceries!!!

     .... boring, healthy groceries!!

Bananas, oatmeal and apples. I forgot to get lettuce and yogurt. And I forgot to kill myself.
     Of course, we can't go out looking anything but fantastic. So, we just threw on any old clothes, Wyatt and I.

Extra! Extra! Read all about the adorable newsie baby!
     This outfit of his has a little too much blue for my taste, but it's hard for us to find pants that fit him and look good. People love that hat, and his little polo collars are pretty killer too.

     I am unable to wear my favorite jeans that make my butt look so good, because they tore while bending down to pick up a pacifier riding my exercise bike moving that box of dumb-bells by myself.

Rest In Peace Favorite Jeans Besides The Other Jeans I Tore A Few Months Ago

     So, instead I put on sweats. It wasn't a head turner, but dang was I comfortable!!!

At 4 months
      I just want that baby to take a nap so I can do some grading, clean the kitchen and watch Ellen. It's like she's talking directly to me.

     Come over and play with us!!

     My mood: blah
     Wyatt's mood: blah blah
     Listening to: Buble

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Raising Up Baby

     I am the first of my friends to have a kid. At least, the first of my friends in Eugene. I have several friends in Portland and elsewhere who have babies, but here in town Wyatt is a bit of a novelty. When my friends get to see him, they ask a lot of tough questions. What toys are you going to have him play with? Will you let him play video games? Will he play sports? Do you think you'll let him watch a lot of television? Are you going to teach him math? All of these questions have the central theme of wondering if the things I like, he will like, or if I will be a good parent.

     I've received some good advice a couple times: Work to not push your desires (and insecurities) onto your kid. So, if Wyatt wants to do the things that I do, great, but if not that's fine. I just know that when he is playing with toys, I want them to be creative at some level. So, blocks, LEGOs, lincoln logs, and train sets are all wonderful. If he just wants Ninja Turtles and GI Joes, and giant plasticy toys, we can find a nice balance.

     I don't think I'll get Wyatt video games for a long, long time. I didn't have any until 8th grade (and even then it was a plain old NES, when the 64 had been out for several years) A lot of video games have great puzzles and opportunities to be super creative, but most of them really do involve shooting people and stealing cars. We'll see. This means he'll just have to watch me play and I'll answer the question "When's it my turn?" with "In seven years."

     I find myself setting goals that are very unrealistic. Like that he won't ever eat fast food with us, won't watch too much TV, and will be in calculus by the age of 14. Months. But, if there's a 30Rock marathon on, we're watching HOURS of TV.

     Other questions my friends ask me: Is it stressful having a life in your control? Do you go a little crazy? Where do you find your inspiration to be such a brilliant writer? Do you think Wyatt will like math? Do you think he'll be good at sports? How did you master all forms of social media so effortlessly? Do you still have that TV for sale? Did you watch New Girl last night? What's it like being so many things to so many people?

     My answers? Well, they are humble of course, but they go like this (in order to your questions): What's new? How could I, when I have the internet? From within, and from out there. I doubt he'll like it as much as I do. He most certainly will not. It wasn't effortless. I do. Of course I did. It is what it is.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Eating the Lion

     Well everyone, Wyatt is handsier than ever!! We wish that he would spend most of his nights like this:  

by which I mean sleeping or at his grandpa's. Or both. But, when he isn't sleeping like an angel with nightmares, he's getting more and more active every day!!
     When we put him in his chair and have some dangles for him to play with, he is much more interested in them today than he was a couple of weeks ago.
He's always aware of the camera!! It's
tough to get a good, candid shot.

He loves to eat the lion, which I think means he's going to be a fighter and not a lover. Just like his daddy.
Doing his best Chip Kelly, side-of-the-mouth grin.
     Just look at what a good time that happy little baby is having!! It's just too cute for words!! He tries to crawl on his belly when I put things he wants just out of reach. He can't do it, but he tries.

     Couple all of that activity with the cooing and talking he's doing, and every day couldn't be more precious!! 

Wyatt's mood: energetic!!
My mood: Trying to finish blogging before I do some math tutoring!!
Listening to: Music from Final Fantasy 6 (it counts as classical, so it's good for the sleeping baby!! Don't judge me!)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The King of Eugene

     Sometimes I stop to take a look at baby Wallet. (We call him baby Wallet sometimes because his almost-three-years-old cousin can't seem to say "Wyatt"). He sure is getting big! He can do all sorts of fun things now. He makes sounds all day long, which never gets old!! He can squeeze my fingers so tight that I can lift him up to a sitting position by his hands. He can sit up... until he falls backwards. And last night we learned how to make him giggle!!

     In the video above I am playing peekaboo with him. He hadn't really ever responded to it before, but this time each peekaboo built up a bigger reaction until he was laughing at each one. I think it is very important that you understand one thing: his mom wasn't nearly as good at it as I was.

     At our baby shower last summer, a friend of mine got Wyatt what I call his Newsie outfit. It's pretty much your standard fare, classic 1920's getup. Well, Wyatt had finally grown big enough that he fit into it, and we had him wear it to church.

     It. was. madness.
     Usually Wy gets a lot of attention for being so gosh-darn-adorable and for being the pastor's grandson. But this time, with that little hat and sweater? There was a crowd. People couldn't get enough of it. Later I took him to the grocery store and people would stop what they were doing to look and comment on the little boy. Workers would say "are you finding everything ohmygosh that is the cutest thing I have ever seen!!" I even got a free sample of ribs and sausage out of it (and no, I wasn't at Costco, so I don't think they were free anyways). I've got to find some way to capitalize on this.

My mood: Ready for a break
Wyatt's mood: Wanting to talk
Listening to: Adelle

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

In Need of New Jeans

     I have ripped the ass bottom of two pairs of jeans in the past two months (we don't say bad words around the little one). Two! I only own three pairs! I've found that when I hold Wyatt and need to pick up something off the floor, I have to do that mommy-squat that is a jean ripper.

     I don't know what to do about it! Finding jeans that fit me is hard, because it involves going to a store and trying on jeans. This is something I was loathe to do before there was a human life depending on me for survival. I don't understand why, when my wife gets off work tonight, she can't just run over to a couple of stores and find loose, comfortable jeans that fit me and won't tear when I inhale.

     Changing gears, Wyatt is so close to crawling! When I lay him on his belly he can rotate about 120 degrees, on a pivot!! He will see something in the distance that he wants to put his mouth on (don't we all), and will try to move towards it! It's super exciting! Bahh!!! Soon I'll have to tie a leash around his waist.

My mood: hungry hungry hippo.
Wyatt's mood: sleepy sleepy baby
Listening to: Third Eye Blind

Friday, February 3, 2012

Looking to Profit

     Does anyone have any connection with the liberal media elite, or really anyone in the media? I am wanting to start earning some cash from my adorable baby. I mean, all of you are always telling Cara and I what a cute baby he is. And then you are careful to say "and I'm not just saying that, because sometimes there are some ugly babies that I think are cute, but yours is actually cute."
     Well, I agree! I think Wyatt could make a great Gerber model, or even the next baby!


Baby Exercises
(I think he actually ate some of the grass. He didn't seem to like it.
I don't know why this is in parentheses, let's pretend like it's a secret.)

     If there's any chance that I can make money off of this (because that's clearly not going to happen through this blog), than you let me know. I only want what's best for him!!!

     The other day I laid him down on his belly, and when I checked in on him again a few hours later just a little bit later, he had rotated on his belly! He is able to twist over 180 degrees! What fun!

My mood: anxious
Wyatt's mood: earthy
Listening to: Outkast