Friday, March 30, 2012

Info On The Housedad

     This blog has become very baby-focused, as if all I do is post pictures and videos of Wyatt doing the most innocuous things. But I am more than a diaper changing, bottle making, laundry folding machine. I am a person with hopes and dreams and fear of my own. I have goals that I set, and then lower, and then ignore just like the rest of you. It's time I give myself an update and let you all know what's going on in my life.

Let's focus on just plain old me, no baby, for a while
     I still can't seem to shake that baby weight. I guess taking Wyatt for strolls and rolling around with him on the floor isn't the aerobic exercise I need. I am hoping to get more bike riding in (and we have a trailer for Wyatt, when he gets a bit bigger), and maybe I will start jogging too. We have a jogging stroller that Wyatt should be able to fit in soon. I think I will join (or start) a mommy-jogging group. The truth is I abhor jogging, or just running for running's sake, but I need to get out of the house!!
     Reading: I would like to read more. I need to read to Wyatt more, too. I definitely want him reading by kindergarten! It's hard when we don't have a lot of books I enjoy reading to him, just one Dr Seuss and one Richard Scary, the rest are all boring and derivative.
     Diet: I am trying to eat more vegetables, but the ratio of vegetable-to-dressing required to make greens palatable is about 1:1 in terms of total mass. (That makes sense, okay!). Also, Wyatt needs food more and more all the time, we are supposed to be giving him food, like in terms of meals, around the time we ourselves are eating. That's going to be a struggle, mostly because Cara and I don't really have set meal times or a pattern.

     Games! Wyatt loves to watch me throw the ball up and down. Sometimes I will just sit above his head, drop a ball and catch it right before it hits his nose. If it hits his face he actually likes it, too! One thing I've learned is that whatever happens, good or bad, intentional or not, as long as I laugh and smile, everything is okay! So when he falls over and bonks his head, or something slips from my hand and hits him, we just pretend like that was the game! What fun.

     Wyatt is such a happy, smiley little boy that I miss him when he is gone, or when I am heading to work. I should never work again and just stay home so that I can see every little milestone and be a part of every moment of his life!!
Wyatt got into the brownies. What if I hadn't been home and missed this precious moment!?
     So there you have it! A little update on ol' Grant and his life independent of the baby. Because I am my own man who makes his own rules. I can't be defined as just "daddy" and need to make sure the world knows it.

     My mood: fiesty!
     Wyatt's mood: fussy :(
     Listening to: Whitney Houston

Thursday, March 29, 2012

America's Favorite Game

     It's the question on everyone's mind: Is There Anything Wyatt Won't Put In His Mouth?
     I picture a cheesy game show studio with exciting music and flashing lights, as the crowd says the name of the game in unison. A bunch of objects are put on a table and we all vote if Wyatt will or won't put it in his mouth.

     Corners of tables. Lamp posts. Extension cords. The bottom of a crutch. It's never ending!

Bag of wipes!
His shoe!
His other shoe!
My shoe!
Oh come on, not a dirty diaper, Wyatt?! Have some standards!!
Awww, you did it! A dirty diaper!! Ew!

     Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking Wait a second. It looks like all of these photos were taken at the same time! Same pants, same spot on the carpet, some of the same objects were in earlier pictures! You were putting grosser and grosser things in front of him to suck on!

     Wow, um, you are pretty astute it seems.

     It's interesting, though, that there are things he won't suck on. He no longer tries to get milk from his mom or I anymore. He doesn't like sucking on my fingers or arm like he used to. I think he's exploring and learning about the world through his mouth, which is kind of weird. But I guess it does let him sense heat, texture, taste, temperature, wet/dry, he probably smells things better, and gets a closer look. It's really a sensory goldmine, if you think about it.

     Also, what a straight cutie he is!!

     My mood: spring break!
     Wyatt's mood: he wants to do more than he is capable of, and that frustrates him. So, "frustrated."
     Listening to: Outkast

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

When Should A Baby Start Crawling?!

     So... um... Wyatt's like almost six months old now, and he's not crawling. I hear about babies that are walking by four months or something, and all Wyatt is able to do is push up off his belly. Is something wrong with him?

     I do everything I am supposed to do! Don't judge me!! While I'm playing on the computer I'll put stuff that he wants to eat (like french fries or paper or grass) just out of reach so he'll try to move towards it. When I am watching TV and he is crying I put him in another room and just let him go crazy for a couple of hours!!

     Here's a picture of my hard efforts:

     As you can clearly see, I am doing my job as a parent in putting the paper just out of hands reach. He wants to eat it, and if he can get to it he can. Come on!! Paper is yummy and good for you!!

     I have two of the best videos of him not crawling. But they both can't be loaded onto here, because they are too long. If I were a good blogger, or could edit videos, you'd be able to watch them. Unfortunately I am neither of those, so I will do the next best thing: Use my gift of word-smithing to paint you a vivid, brilliant picture in your mind that feels like a velvet blanket and tastes like chocolate:

     There we were, him on the floor and me standing above. The paper - already chewed and torn, hard and crispy from having been sucked and then dried, like a tortilla left out over night - was just out of reach. How was he going to put it in his mouth!? He loves putting things in his mouth. 
     But, did he want the paper?There was a camera on him. He is always distracted by cameras. 
     He was trying to crawl! But then he didn't. In fact, he fell over on his back! It's hard to describe... I guess you'd have to be there to get it. It was cute and funny! Words really can't do it justice!

     But then! Something magical happened.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Nursery Nightmare

My wife would probably prefer that I clean up the nursery before I put it online for the world to see. But I am trying to give a glimpse into our actual lives, not the lives I want to portray. This is real, yo. Besides, if she wants it clean so bad she could clean it herself sometime. Instead of spending all day at work, doing "work stuff" while I am home with the baby blogging and netflixing. This is a long caption.

     I think Wyatt is scared of his crib, and I think I figured out why.

     It's terrifying.

     The nursery as a whole is pretty great. It's got a soft blue paint on the walls and a crib and a rocking chair and a changing station and books and soft toys and stuffed animals.

     And it has a mobile of monkeys! What fun is that?!

     No fun! It's no fun when his mom spins the mobile at night, and there are singing, dancing monkeys with claws above his head, taunting him. And what are those little round things?! Drops of poison? Rain?! You should see the shadows this thing makes at night. It's awful. I wouldn't be able to sleep in there, and not just because I can't fit in the crib.

     But that's not the worst. In the nursery there are these two old-timey posters that the wife cut up and framed. They are actually quite quaint:

     Soft rolling hills and mountains, and a train rolling along the side of a cliff. Sounds peaceful, right?

     Wrong! It's a nightmare! Why? There's no engine. Anywhere. Those two train cars are careening down the side of a cliff with a huge curve in it and there's nothing to stop them. The passengers in it are mortified, and Wyatt is stuck in a room that reminds him of two things: You have no control of the world around you (there is no engine, only tracks), and the animals would kill you if they could.

      And is there a subtle, creepy reflection of a person in that picture?! We have to move.

     My mood: protective of my baby
     Wyatt's mood: leery
     Listening to: Incubus