Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Sunny Days With Baby!!!

   Gahh!!! The sun is finally out!!! And for like almost three straight days! This is an absolute gift to happen in April, we usually have to wait until July for three days of warmth! What a treat. So of course, we worked in the yard!!!

Wyatt's a real helper. He's trying to rid us of all that pesky dirt one mouthful at a time!

We needed to run some errands, so we grabbed the stroller and headed to the mall!!

Dad!! Don't you know that the stroller needs the carseat in it!?

I actually thought I saw a friend and waved. Then I facebooked him later to see if it was him. It was not. Luckily my identity was well disguised by my awesome transition lenses.

After a long day of work, play and adventure, we needed to get some sleep. 

Somehow I have even less of the bed when I share with Wyatt than with my wife.

If you are curious as to why my wife never appears in any of these pictures, well, you'd have to ask her. Ask her why I am left to raise the baby all by myself while she works and cooks and cleans. It just doesn't seem fair, does it?! 
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Sunday, April 15, 2012

Who's a Good Boy?!

    I had a startling realization today: I talk to my son like he's my puppy.
    In fact, I treat him as if he's my puppy.

    I will often say things like, but not limited to:

    Who's a good boy? Wyatt's a good boy! Don't eat that shoe Wyatt! That's my shoe. Eat this old shoe. Wyatt!! Did you get into the paper again? You are growing so big! Look at all of the things you can do!! You've sure got strong teeth!! Try to stand on two legs!! Look at you dressed in these cute people clothes!!
     And then I'll rub his belly and stroke his hair and maybe scratch behind his ears. And I've taken to rubbing his nose in his poo when he poops through his diaper. And I am trying to teach him the word "no" about touching dirty or dangerous things around him. These all seem very canine to me.
     I hope this doesn't last forever.
     You've seen some of my videos where I talk to him! It's not baby talk... it's puppy talk.  But most importantly, I will reshare all of the things he puts in his mouth, like a dog:

     That last one is actually one that I am looking forward to. I once had a friend tell me that the first time his daughter tasted sugar - like a real heavy dose of it - was a taste of some milkshake. She then promptly lit up with a huge grin and threw her face in the milkshake, wanting more. I want to video tape Wy's first bite - and then first bowl - of CTC so that I can document the happiest moment of his life.

     Other things that don't really make up for their own blog post, but are worth sharing:

     The other day I went to Costco. I had Wyatt in tow. I wanted to get a shopping cart before I pulled him out of the car, so I left him in the car (doors unlocked - I am stressed about locking him in the car like in modern family), took about 5 seconds to get a cart and returned. I was no more than 12 feet from him at any point.
     As I came back with my cart there was an elderly woman (50's I'd guess) who had slowed down as her husband kept walking. She was nervous. She was peering all over the parking lot and looking in at the car. It's like, no matter how much she peered, she didn't see me (I stopped for a moment to see what would happen).
     I informed her of my presence and she gave me a relieved-but-slightly-judgmental laugh and went about her day. I am both relieved to know that there are such nice people in my community and stressed about how in five seconds someone was able to recognize that the baby was alone and scout out the area.

     A Seattle talent agency was in town yesterday, having auditions. They represent talent ages 5 - 25, which means both Wyatt and I were out of their acceptable range. This is too bad because I wanted to rock their world with a killer slam-poetry recital and re-enactment of my favorite scenes from The Bourne Identity and Zoolander. Maybe next time.
     On that note: I've watched very little American Idol. Maybe three or four times, and never a whole episode. I'd love to go to the auditions and when Steven and JLo and Blackguywithglasses ask me what I am going to sing, just start reciting some poetry. Comic gold.

     I think that's all.  

Monday, April 9, 2012

Feeding Your Family

     People ask me all the time: How are you able to work, care for your baby, maintain the house, keep your fantastic style and make consistently delicious, wholesome meals? It must be a lot of work!!
     Well, I'll help you out. I've taken the time to show my general meal making process, and you can adapt to your own tastes and families! It's really just two or three simple steps!!!

     It all starts with carbs. Lots and lots of carbs. Either rice or noodles, take your pick.

Brown rice and noodles. One or the other every night!!

     Step two is the most important step. Find some sort of sauce, heat it up, and pour it over the cooked carbs.

Pesto (Costco), Yellow Curry Sauce (Trader Joe's), Spaghetti
Sauce (Safeway) and, um, Salsa? (Costco?) all make great carb toppings.
     Bang! Just like that, you've got a great meal! Nothing more is needed!

     BUT!! If you want more, you can always add chicken!

Roasted chicken (recommended), frozen chicken, or chicken of the sea (not pictured) are all great chicken options. 
     You might be thinking "I don't think chicken sounds good with spaghetti sauce or, um, salsa." I reply with "You never know unless you try! I haven't tried, though, because it sounds kind of gross."

     Now, if this seems like too much work, we can cut out a step:

Frozen orange chicken (Costco) or frozen bbq teriyaki chicken (TJ's) can
combine steps two and three!! And it tastes fantastic!
     You might be thinking "What about vegetables?! Doesn't your growing family need vegetables?!" I reply with "That's the beauty of those sauces! They throw all kinds of vegetables in there for taste and health so you can pretty much just drink the stuff and you're set!"

     And just like that, you have 7 or 8 meals in a row all planned out! You don't even need to pay for a meal plan!!

     Now, if you're family isn't at home with you and you need dinner (or any meal), well, I have one thing to say:

True story: I was given boxes of this cereal for birthdays and graduation presents in high school.

     Keep your eyes out for the release of my cookbook!! I've been working on it for years. I will take all recipes that come from the back and side panels of the foods and ingredients you buy in stores, and put them all in one place! So if you ever forget how to make a batch of Ghirardelli brownies, you'll be able to find the instructions!! Why hasn't anyone done this sooner!? (Don't steal my idea).

My mood: feeling accomplished
Wyatt's mood: stoic
Listening to: Tears for Fears

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Head Bobbin'!!

(True story: For a moment the title of this post was "Head Boobin'!!" which we can all agree would have been hilarious.)

     Have you ever been to the zoo, or an aquariam, and seen a whale move its head up and down? It's a whole body movement, really, because whales don't really have necks. Well, Wyatt has started to do the same thing. All the time, and it's hilarious. He has three or four new skills: shouting and screaming in an incredibly high pitched voice at will, rolling over and crawling anywheres (twice off the bed!), saying ba! ba!, and now the head nod. Let me show you, in his best video yet:

     I think that video is pretty great, because he's so adorable and crawling closer and closer and then ends with the head bob!! When whales do it, it is a sign of aggression. They are looking to see if any other whales will head-bob back, and then go at it. When Wyatt does it, I have absolutely no idea what it means.

     Yes, you read correctly above. Wyatt has crawled off our bed and hit the floor twice in the past week. It's taking some adjusting to on the old dad's part. I can't just put Wyatt somewhere, come back a few hours later and he will still be there anymore! I have been very proud of myself for not dropping him or hitting his head or stepping on him or feeding him battery acid or anything, but didn't want to comment on it. Now that the streak is over, I can identify that I was doing pretty good for a while.

     But it's encouraging, because when he bumps his head he only cries for a second or two (basically until you pick him up and start hugging/playing with him), so maybe he's not going to be much of a crier, like his daddy.

     Here are some more pictures of Wyatt being the cutest baby on the planet (except for you baby, if you have one, which is undoubtedly cuter. Way cuter than those other babies out there, amiright?!)

My mood: a bit of a failure
Wyatt's mood: distrustful of gravity
Listening to: Zelda soundtracks