Wyatt's Best Hero!!

We had our friend Betsey Jaskilka over at Framed Living take some photos of us. Here are Lincoln, Wyatt, Cara, Grant, and Grants' Chins.

   Guys, I am just in a really good place right now. It's a Tuesday night, and the kids and the wife are in Portland with Cara's family, planning a fun zoo day tomorrow. This isn't why I am in a good place, but it certainly helps. I, of course, am choosing to spend it with you, talking incessantly about myself. This is generally my move at parties, and everyone seems to love it and want to talk about nothing else, so we will just keep that trend moving forward.

   I teach math to high-school kids. This means that I can do things that they can't and it makes them think I am a genius. It helps that I teach a lot of freshmen, who know next to nothing, so whenever I factor or complete the square, their jaws drop. I get to spend most of my days telling people that I am smarter than them and that they need to listen to me, and they do!!

   I also have a three year old son who thinks I am the greatest thing to happen to humanity. I am starting to agree. One of Wyatt's most common phrases is "You my best hero, Dad!!" HIS BEST HERO, GUYS. There are other heroes out there, but I am by far the best. And if I help him beat a level of Mario - I mean, no, he's not playing Nintendo at our house, just reading and drawing and abunchofsticks in the back yard and nature and none of those electronicsohmygoshstupjudging me. Anyways, if I help him beat a level of Sticks, he is unbelievably impressed. He thinks I can fix anything, if "anything" means a light bulb and definitely not my car. (We have "Mom's car," "Dad's truck," and "Broke car.") And the other day, when I made a turn into a parking lot, he exclaimed "Nice turn, Dad!!" Seriously.

Look at these two little guys. Also, we have NO IDEA whose hands those are, and it's freaking us out. 

   So between the students that are in awe of me, my son who idolizes me, and my wife who hangs on my every word, action, and thought, I am pretty much the king of my little hill. Which is why I don't go to parties or interact with adults. For one, it breaks the illusion, and also I don't seem to get invited to parties anymore.

   I am untouchable. I coach kids in ultimate frisbee, a sport no one ever plays, so no one out there is better than me. I was once the a top-20 ranked player at Tetris on Facebook. Top 20, guys. Sure, the game had only been out for 4 hours, and within two days I wasn't in the top 10,000, but I don't think you can claim top-20 at anything, can you? I mean, I even ride my bike to work for crying out loud, so I can win any argument about global warming. But that's not why I bike to work. I bike to work because I saw my belly in the mirror one morning and thought "Oh gosh it's happening" and hopped on my bike, hoping that one ride would cancel out two whole packages of E.L.Fudge cookies that I consumed in one night. Hour. It was one hour.

   I mean, they say that fat weighs more than muscle, which is probably why I've gained a little weight in the last year or so. Also YESIKNOWFATWEIGHSLESSTHANMUSCLE why is it so important for you to always correct me on these things?

   With a free night and the world at my fingertips, a man-about-town like myself wants nothing more than to do some laundry, watch Zoolander for a record ninety-third time, write a quick note to his dozens and dozens of blog followers, and drink some tea. Well, dozen. I mean, hi mom. I'm great.

   I am not even 30, so clearly, "man in his prime" looks a lot like me.

My mood: just being honest and accurate.
Wyatt, mom, and Lincoln's moods: I have no idea but I can safely assume they are missing me terribly.
Listening to: all kinds of music with words we don't want Wyatt or mom to hear.

Three!!

THIS. CUPCAKE. IS GETTING. MASSACRED.

   My special little kid just turned three years old, everyone!! This is huge news and will have a great impact on your day because of the importance that my child holds in the world!! I can already imagine how you are planning on incorporating this information into your plans for the near future!!

   You've seen how we really did up his first birthday, as well as the absolutely wonderful video that came with it. Then, last year we pretty much just gave him a doughnut (but it still produced a funny video). This year, since Wyatt is probably the most important kid who has a name that isn't a color or a plant or something, he's really had a birthweek instead of a birthday. Celebrations started on Friday with Cara's family (including the special little cousins).

Here's cousin Elsie with her pretty earrings, all ready to move in on Wyatt's present. It looks like ... is he getting a cuisinart?

   Festivities continued into Saturday, where my great friend and True American John took Wyatt and the cousins for a ride on his fire truck out at Camp Harlow.

Yes. Wyatt got to sit in John's lap and drive the firetruck, making Grant the best dad in the world and John the new favorite person in Wyatt's world. Yes, John kind of looks like Grant when they are both wearing the exact same shirt, but John is in his 30's so they are in super different stages of life.

Absolutely perfect.

   We were all set to go swimming at Amazon Pool. We'd fed the kids, changed them, and psyched them up for the slide, fountains and splashes at the pool. When we got there, however, it was closed because a pipe had burst. I really think this is code for "all the lifeguards were hungover," which is unsettling because they are like 16, but whatever. We were super depressed. Birthday ruined, right?! Wrong!! All-Around Hero and True American Grant said "Let's just go to the wave pool at Splash!" and the day was saved.

Wyatt's favorite thing at the pool is of course his dad. This is no surprise, because dad's the best. But his ACTUAL favorite thing is the slide. The whole way down, he laughs, smiles, says "oh whee fun" and then says "again?" before we even hit the water. It's such a blast.

   Wyatt was loving all the fun, attention, and presents, and a huge grin on all day. Cara and I gave him some little flashlights and a couple of cars. Whenever he gets a new car he says "Oh poop car!" because we give him cars when he goes poop, which is like twice a month. No, seriously.

   A few days later, we celebrated with my family.

Wyatt, Papa G, Ash and Kirk Beast. Wyatt's playing with the elevator that Ash and KB gave him

Wyatt, KB, Mama, Some Girl Who's Not Sure Why She's There, and Grmma. Uncle Bear was there too, but was offscreen playing with the lego set he gave to himself Wyatt.

   We're all sure blessed to have such great family around Wyatt. Wyatt's also blessed to have his birthday last for like six years. Wyatt and Mama get birthweeks instead of birthdays, and Dad gets a great birthhour.

   I will say, time hasn't "flown" over the last three years, and I don't think he's "grown up so fast," but already I can see that he's going to start really getting older fast. He's talking more, starting to fake read, like's to act things out in his imagination, and is learning new things all the time. He repeats whatever he hears and loves big kids. I think time is going to start flying now, so I'm going to try to hold on.

   I am sad that he's three, because things are free for kids that are under three at a lot of places. I wanted him to always say "twohalf" whenever he was asked his age. But alas, yesterday after successfully pooping in the toilet, he said "Dad! Two cars!! Two poop cars!! Wy not little boy, Wy big boy. Wy not twohalf Wy three." He then said "Hulk smash!" over and over.

   At least he's not yet too old to cuddle with his mama. He will be someday. I hope. Oh gosh what if he's always cuddling with his mama!?

My mood: happy and proud.
Wyatt's mood: will think it's his birthday every day, I fear.
Cara's feeling: like the little one in the belly is kicking too much and needs to nap more.

Summer of 2014!!

Our first camping trip took us to the coast. It was a little cool, but it was like a billion in Eugene so we didn't complain.

Every new-ish parent is used to hearing the same three or four pieces of advice:

They grow up so fast.
Next think you know they're in high school.
Treasure these days.
Seriously, just lock them in the closet for a few hours and they'll learn.

On the one hand, I don't feel like these last 3 years with Wyatt have flown by. (He turns three in a month, so go ahead and start planning your party for him now). When you are a teacher, each year is pretty compartmentalized into two categories: "Summer," and "Sucky". So as a year goes by, I have a good feel and pace of it.

However, I did go into this summer with an understanding that Wyatt's only going to be two for a little bit longer. Right now, everything is new and wonderful and exciting for him. He gets wide eyed and takes big gasps when he sees a snail or a new type of bird, and his imagination is really starting to get a hold of him. I know that next year it won't be quite the same, and that he'll have tons of relentless, back-breaking questions and his words will be more formed and less cute and he'll have a better idea of what he does and doesn't like, and that next summer we'll have a little baby that will keep me from adventuring a bit more, so I really wanted to make this summer count.

For example, I had a goal of taking him camping every other week, during the summer. We went tent camping 4 times, in 4 different places, with 4 different groups of people, and we slept outside out grandpa's house and we'll probably sleep outside one of these nights too. But we did other things too.

The river spot we biked to at least 20 times.

We hiked and biked and swam in lakes and pools and rivers and threw rocks and saw waterfalls and ran races and built obstacle courses and read books and slept outside and slept in our hammocks and wrestled and wrestled and wrestled and we watched a snail cross the sidewalk and we tried to play cars with cats and we tried to learn about being a brother and we got him potty trained and got him sleeping through the night in his own bed and he pooped on my shoulder one time and we picked apples and we pressed cider and we picked berries and made cobbler and we went to like 12 different parks and we found waterfalls and we did so much more stuff.

It was a blast. It was a span of 10 weeks I will treasure forever. Really, we had so much fun and moved so fast I didn't get too many pictures of them all, which I am okay with.

Wyatt had the tow truck ready in case the snail broke down.

My two favorite people in one of my new favorite places.

Wyatt and Papa with Kambiz.

If you are a dentist and want to give us a free checkup, I assume this is the only picture you'd need? Just write me an email at worldsbestdad77@juno.com to let us know of any cavities.

You can't tell from his expression, but these are Wyatt's two best friends, and the people who get mentioned the most in his prayers outside of mom and dad.

Wyatt's favorite neighborhood cat, who isn't very good at playing cars.

The best picture I have of him at campfire, with his favorite accessory on his head and what I am going to assume is a box of matches in his hand. No, wait, that's a graham cracker.

I do love my job, actually. Teaching is wonderful because it is challenging and exhausting and it's never the same thing twice, really, and young people have energy and excitement. I like to pretend like summer ending is the worst thing that could happen to me, but only because squeezing a month between July and August sounds so appealing. But I've learned that I need to reach this mystical point where I am ready for school. Where I feel like I've done enough fun to enable myself to look out the window when I am sitting in my classroom, and see the sun and the breeze and be okay with the fact that I am not playing in that right now. This summer, I did that, and in a few hours I'll gladly go to my first day of work.

The summer of two-year-old Wyatt is over, can't wait for the fall.

My mood: Ready

Wyatt's mood: He actually spends about a week waking up in the morning and walking around the house looking for dad. He's used to having me home, but I am usually gone before he wakes up. It's cute and sweet and maybe a little sad.

Cara's mood: Sad I am going to work, but glad that I have a job and am not a total loser for 12 months of the year, just three of them.

Listening to: Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard

Big Announcement!!

   Yeah okay let's get this over with we're having another baby.

   I thought about mustering up some excitement and throwing down lots of my trademark double exclamation points!! and trying to build up some suspense or something, but that wasn't going to work. Let's face it: This new one isn't going to be our first one, and that means you aren't going to be as excited.
   My parents already have their first grandkid. My brother and sister already became an aunt and an uncle for the first time. Wyatt's cousins already have cousins. Now it's just more of the same old same old.

   But!! We can still make this exciting!! I'm talking about photos and updates and pinterest and fruit and all kinds of good things!! Here's what I mean.

   Spend half an hour on Pinterest (which my wife does like 6 times a day), and you'll see that pregnancy announcements and gender announcements are A HUGE DEAL. You have to let the world know how cute and artsy you are and how happy you are to be having a baby and also that you are going to be the best parents evar!! So, we've got that covered:

   These are 6 images that appeared on the first page of searching "Pregnancy Announcement" on Pinterest. Let's see what we've got:

Can't spell. Is that ring both an "o" and an "a"? Just trying way too hard here.

Whoa! I don't want to see people making out unless it's me and a steak. Also, walking around on those shoes must've been stressful.

Um, hmmm. Well, so, I guess anyone who can recognize those feet knows who this girl is and that she's pregnant. Angela?

Ah yes, the chalkboard with arrows and colors. Classic.

So, wait, boy + girl + tree = 3? I don't get the math on this one. Maybe it's boy tree girl plus sign three?

And this one!! Okay, actually that's really funny. You guys win.

   As you can see, there's a lot of pressure to pull this thing off right. People need to get excited for you and also know how wonderful you are, all at once. A while back, Cara and Wy and I were bored and decided we'd get a head start on this whole "baby announcement picture" thing. These were the results:

This is the creative process at work.

We realized people would take this the wrong way. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!

True story: We had a friend take these photos. The friend is actually a photographer. The friend didn't want us to use his name because he didn't want anything to do with these things. Thanks, Jake!

We figured we'd make a few with some random dates, just hoping to get the due date right. Notice we didn't put down any years or anything.

What fun we were having.

Our try at the whole mathy thing. Because there'd be four of us. I guess I forgot to add a tree in there somewhere. During this photo-shoot, someone actually walked by and said "What does that even mean? Are you having a baby or something." I politely replied with "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND DON'T LET THAT DOG POOP ON MY LAWN!" (It wasn't my lawn.) (She didn't have a dog.)

It's not... you know, Cara ...  the baby's not going to be in my belly. Why are you doing this?! You know I've had body image issues ever since we were pregnant the first time around. It changes you.

What is with this belly obsession!?

Do you get it!? Cara drinks water, dad drinks whatever's in that bottle and we're not telling but it's probably just used for cooking anyways, and Wyatt LOVES milk.

Here, we gave Wyatt a bag of chips and said "spell out "I'ma big brother!" or something" and then came back a few hours later.

   So there you have it. The secret's out: Not only are we pregnant, but we aren't photogenic, clever or going to be featured on any pinterest boards.

   Now, I'm sure you have a ton of questions, so let me answer them for you.

   How did this happen?!

   That is not a question I am going to answer. This is a family blog. Well, it's a blog about a family. No, it's really a blog about a dad who needs attention. 

   Are you going to change the name of the blog?!

   To what? "My Kids Is Special!!?" That doesn't even make any sense. You should be embarassed for even suggesting that.

   You should be embarrassed that you can't spell "embarrassed" right. Those aren't my questions, Grant. I have questions like "When will-

   - "When will I get a new little plushy batman drawing for the new kid?" Great question. I probably need to update Wyatt's anyways to reflect his age and sensibilities. We don't know if the new kid is a boy or a girl yet, so the plushy image could be Link or Spider-Man if he's a boy, and Zelda or Samus if he's a girl.

   You are awful at this. At least you answered the question about the gender. When is the soon-to-be-forever-screwed-up-by-this-blog kid coming?

   The "doctor's" tell us it's coming in December, but I think I know my own body and have a good feeling about late August.

   Ugh. Are you going to find out the gender in advance?

   Probably. But not because of ultrasounds or anything. We have a neighbor who has visions about these sorts of things. He accurately predicted that Wyatt would be a boy and he'd be super cute and he'd grow up to be a rock star, so he's pretty reliable. He also knew in advance that Hillary was going to run for president.

   Ugh. How's mom doing?

   Yeah great fine who cares what else?

   Have you thought about names at all?

   Yes. If it's a boy, probably Link or Spider-Man. If it's a girl, um, can you trade those things in for boys?

   What, you don't want a baby girl?

   No no no, it's not that at all. I'd love a baby girl. I don't want a middle or high school girl. Those things are terrifying.

   Aren't you a teacher?

   Yes and if the girl's knew how scared I was of them and their drama they'd have all the control.

   Okay let's wrap this up.

   Well, I'm in charge of this blog. I ask the questions around here.

   No, seriously, I've been asking questions for like 15 minutes.

   Wait, what? Seriously?

   Yes!! That's been your whole gimmick!

   Are... are you sure that's right?

   Well, now I guess we've switched and you are asking stupid questions.

   How did you do this? Are you like a spy or something?

   You keep asking questions. And if I were a spy I obviously couldn't tell you.

   Okay. Got it. You can't tell me. I'll just have to do some digging on my own some other time. 

   I need to be moving on. I can't just sit here and entertain all day. I've got important things to do like mail a few more wedding thank-yous. Let's wrap this up.

My mood: ecstatic! Also, I can't believe any of you would read this far!!

Wyatt's mood: kind of understanding what's going on but not really!

Cara's mood: Sleeping okay these days!!

Listening to: The Shins.

Wyatt Loves The Ocean!!

He's saying "Come on, let's go play in the water!" We'd just played in the water for like an hour.

   Oh man you guys, I had no idea. I mean, we've been to the beach before, as you've seen a couple of times, but never before had Wyatt been so in love with anything. Like, ever.

   On our trip to Santa Barbara, among other places, we spent half the day at the beach. Once Wyatt realized that you could be in the water for 15 seconds and still feel your toes, he realized that the water in California is more fun than the water in Oregon. And he never wanted to leave.

He would've run straight in, as far as he could, if we'd let him.

His face was like this the whole time. Look at that cute little face!!

Just some boring sand time with no water that he frickin' adored.

Oh yeah Cara was there too. We decided to all wear collared, blue shirts.

   He laughed so hard and smiled so big the whole time!! I bet his jaw hurt!! And the whole time he was thinking "What great parents I have to bring me here and let me play!!" Because we really are great parents. I mean, just watch this video of him rolling down the teenie-tiny sand dune:

   That probably happened 15 times total. All of this sand climbing and rolling, ocean chasing and laughing is probably what lead to him falling asleep as he kept playing.

   Okokok you get it, this was great and he had fun and everyone was happy. Can we talk about something else now? Like, elephant seals?

      Cara and I were laughing so hard because that scene reminded us of our bedtime ritual.

My mood: can't sleep
Wyatt's mood can't sleep just long enough to keep me from sleeping.

Vacation!!

   Way back at the new year, Cara and Wyatt and I took a vaycay to cali. Something I learned while vaycaying in cali: only posers call it "cali" and only girls call it "vaycay." The three of us flew to San Jose, rented a car and made stops and stays in Monterey, Big Sur, San Luis Obispo, Santa Barbara, and ... um ... Riverside.

   Now you're thinking "wait how did I not know this?! Someone spending time in California is required to absolutely blow up my instagram, facebook, twitter, and send me postcards so that the whole world knows!! Well, I wanted to play it cool because a) that's what this blog is for, and b) IF I ANNOUNCE TO THE WORLD THAT I AM GONE WHILE I AM GONE THEN EVERYONE WILL COME ROB ME!!! And I don't want to lose my Pokemon cards, because I have a killer deck that my brother could never beat because I made him trade me that Venusaur for a Charmeleon when he was like seven and what a sucker. I think he's learned from that experience though.

There's a real fun aquariam in Monterey that everyone says you have to visit. This was a big tank with sharks and turtles and sadly nothing eathing anything else. It's located inside the Mystery Science 2000 Leagues Under The Sea Theater. It turns out that when you've seen Free Willy in person, a little hammerhead isn't so impressive.

There was also a clam that made Cara uncomfortably happy. Like, I was uncomfortable. Wy wasn't too sure either.

In Monterey, there is a place where thousands of Monarch butterflies are supposed to converge. I don't know why this is exciting. Do they taste good or something? Anyways, the wife really wanted to check it out, and on the way we found this awesome park bench. I was so relieved to finally learn that the legacy did not in fact die, but was continuing very, very far from Colorado.

(we saw like 4 butterflies).

Big Sur was nice, although not a great place to go with a 2 year old. Wyatt napped at all the wrong times (hikes) and wanted to play at all the wrong times (in the car). Here was a waterfall that we just "had to see" according to everyone, and apparently Big Sur doesn't realize that these little suckers litter every highway in Oregon. I learned that Big Sur is not a place where dudes go to surf.

There were, however, lots of really awesome views. This is where we thought we'd find Peter Pan as the mermaids try to drown Wendy. Cara thought I was a little too excited at the idea of seeing a mermaid, but I kept telling her that I've seen topless fish hundreds of times. In fact I don't even get excited by it anymore.

   This is the mission in Santa Barbara. I wasn't sure why we were making a point to see it once I learned it wasn't like a famous restaurant or anything. I'd show you pictures of the inside, but you care less than I do so let's move on.

   We had a wonderful time in Santa Barbara. I was hoping to bump into the guys from Psych, and hung around all the crime scenes I could find, but alas. The thing we liked most about SB is it's where we spent the longest time crashed on the beach. Wyatt loved the beach. Like, I think it might now be his favorite thing in the world besides his dad and fussing. I will have a separate post about our beach adventures, but hopefully this will ... tide ... you over.

My mood: ready for another vaycay - dang it! I mean vacation!!
Wyatt's mood: looking for a single missing car
Listening to: Kings of Leon on repeat for like 7 days.