Friday, May 31, 2013

Wanted: Brother Husband

   I've had the best idea!! This is totally my second best idea ever, trailing only a reality show about people who live in a Costco, and WAY better than my idea to make a shirt with zip-off sleeves. Brother Husbands, people. Brother Husbands.

   Here's how it works. Have you seen the show Sister Wives? Neither have I. But I know how it works. There's a bunch of sisters and they all decide to marry the same guy. I think they have some sort of a competition where they vote people off and the winning dude is given the Bonnet of Wives or something. Then this guy has like 5 wives and three houses and holy crap it sounds awful. Then they go to jail? Is that part of the deal? Like I said, I haven't seen the show. I don't know why anyone would do this though. It's like "Hey I want to get nagged more and then thrown in prison!" Amiright?

Is... is he pregnant? Do the males give birth in this scenario? Like seahorses?
   But!! Let's take this idea and spin it around, put it on its head and kick it in the teeth. Brother Husbands.

   Here's the deal: Cara and I (and even Wyatt at this point) agree that Cara is just too high maintenance. I, as one man, can't take care of her, make her happy, take care of the boy, clean and maintain the house, go to work, and keep chasing my dream of being a Pokemon Card Champion. I want to be the very best, like no one ever was. It's just too much! We need a brother husband.

This guy is not Brother Husband material.
   This doesn't have to be my brother. I cannot stress this point enough. This is one of the big differences between Sister Wives and Brother Husbands. In our case, the brother husband will have the following responsibilities: Work and make money, clean the house, maintain the house, take care of the cars, pay the bills, check and sort the mail, and NOTHING ELSE. I cannot stress that last point enough. I, as the head of the Brother Husband household, will be in charge of eating, vacations, leisure, making Cara happy, playing with Wyatt, and naps. Oh, the brother husband might also be Vice-President of Diapers.

   So! Applications for brother husbands are now being accepted. We are looking for someone a) rich, b) quiet, c) handy, d) ugly.

My mood: Proud of my idea and wondering if anyone has a holographic Charizard
Wyatt's mood: excited for another daddy!
Listening to: Dave Matthews

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