Thursday, August 23, 2012

Gettin' Stuff Done

   Guess what Cara!? I just got like seventeen things done while you were at work! How much stuff do you get done while I'm at work otherwise engaged? What's that you say? You do the laundry? Three loads today. Huh? You take care of the baby? Fed him four different times. Oh, you clean the kitchen? No you don't. Ever.
   I guess that having a job that earns you all that fancy "money" takes up too much of your precious time to let you do your wife duties. That's fine. I'm the modern man. The modern man does his wife's job AND his own job, which involves not actually having a job. The modern man can look good and play hard. The modern man eats healthy. The modern man drives a minivan a manlyvan.

   Bang. Daddy gets stuff done. We wanted a freezer to put in the garage. We found one. I loaded it in the manlyvan, drove it home, unloaded it, and then bench pressed for an hour because I was so amped.

   We had a bunch of crappers and other crap to get rid of, so I threw it in the manlyvan, went to the dump and dumped the dump buckets. Was the manlyvan up for it? You bet your bottom dollar it was. Did I forget to mention that the modern man quotes Annie? He does, if he wants to, because the modern man doesn't care.

Two toilets, one ceiling fan, five shelves, two shower sliding doors, no mercy.

   Yeah, that's right. The dump. I'm not afraid. Me and a whole bunch of crusty old farts and their crusty old trucks, each of them looking at me thinking What a modern man you are in your manlyvan. I can tell just by looking at you that I should be calling your car a "manlyvan" because "minivan" is just insulting.

Nice trucks everyone. I bet the whole soccer team fits in real comfortably.

   Guess what. It gets cold in the winter. Not so cold that it bothers me, but my wife and baby need some warmth, so I bought some pellets for our pellet stove. Guess how I got them from point A to point My House. I got them there with a truck and a trailer a few months ago, and then I went back and got some more today IN MY MANLYVAN. I had the workers load it and drove it home and unloaded it. That's right. Me and my bare hands have moved over 3000 pounds of wood. What have you done recently?

Fine, you caught me. I forgot to take a picture of the pellets in the manlyvan, but I did use it to haul some of those bags. Also, I couldn't find my camera so this picture quality is even lower than my usually-shoddy pics up here. Also, look at how cute that lamp shade is on top of the shelves!!!!
   I needed to get some stuff from the home improvement store. I took the baby. On my way out of the home improvement store, the workers carried my stuff for me and loaded it into the manlyvan for me. Because that's what men do for other men who are clearly men and not just stay at home dads.


   Modern Man.

   I'll leave you with this thought: Just look at how cute my baby is!!! Don't you just want to eat his cheeks!? Do you think his cheeks will always be so soft and smooth and squishy!? Gaaahhh I love him so much!

   I mean, is he meditating? Is that what he does when we go for walks? Wow, what a kid.

My mood: all business
Wyatt's mood: just stay out of daddy's way
Listening to: the freaking Legend of Zelda soundtrack.

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