Saturday, September 8, 2012

Perfectly Legal Adventures

   We have a few heavy duty pieces of baby gear. Beyond just a crib and a Pack N Play and a manlyvan. No, I'm talking about the jogging stroller and the bike trailer.

   The jogging stroller is perfect for the active parent on the go. It turns quick, rolls away from you so you have to chase it, and can carry your mail! Wyatt and I go for runs probably nine times a week, and I can almost make it around the whole block now. Talk about some serious equipment.

But, it pales in comparison to the almighty bike trailer.

So... here's the thing about bike trailers and babies. Um, there's a big gray area, we'll call it. In the great state of Oregon (easily one of the top five states touching the Pacific Ocean, which is easily the best ocean), no one under the age of 16 can ride a bike without a helmet. This includes kids in bike trailers or in a bike basket or whatever.

BUT! Babies under the age of two (it doesn't apply to just babies - anyone under the age of two) can't wear a helmet. At least, that is what we've been told or heard. It's sort of like the "do you need a lifejacket if you are floating in a personal innertube" law that no one is really clear on and no one ever actually tries to look into. So he's too young to ride without a helmet, but also too young to wear a helmet. Hmm.

I think I've worked out a solution to the problem, however:

This picture is merely a proof of concept and does not indicate that Wyatt was ever actually ridden in a bike trailer like this.
   Besides daddy's arms, where's the safest place for baby? Ok, sure, besides the crib. And the womb. Ok fine I'm thinking of the carseat. I strapped and locked the carseat into the trailer. I figure he's not wearing a helmet, sure, but he's pretty much surrounded by plastic and as safe as can be, right? You know, if I were ever to actually tow him around in that thing, which I most certainly am not admitting to having done here.
   Now, I probably have never actually ridden with him this way, as that would be illegal possibly, but if I were to ride with him that way wouldn't that be great of me! How resourceful and clever I potentially am but am still totally within the law! Let's just imagine some things that could happen on a potential bike ride like this that may or may not be legal:
   The carseat obviously wasn't built to fit into a bike trailer, so to keep it safe we strap it down to all of the bars and straps and hooks. We have to make sure it doesn't bounce around to much, so that when I am thinking about riding like this but not actually doing it, he's safe. The trailer has a hard shell to keep him safe, the car seat has a hard shell to keep him safe, he's buckled in, and he's loving it!! We could even pull up his shade to keep him out of the sun if I were ever to do this in the future!

   It's nice that he (might) fall asleep, but I always get so frustrated when he naps while in transit. Nap at home so I can do things!! Car rides and theoretical bike rides are for staring, home is for sleeping!

   When we go for our long rides, I can throw all of us baby stuff in the trailer to! It gets tiring pulling around all that weight, so we stop to have a drink. Man, it sure is hot on this fake adventure that you have no proof I have ever actually taken and would never stand up in court! No arresting me today!

   Now you might say "Grant you are basically admitting to potentially breaking the law." No! No I am not! How do all those rappers rap about doing drugs all the time and not get arrested?! I actually don't know, but whatever they claim (artistic expression), so do I! This is all one big piece of social commentary and not anything I would encourage you to do, unless you think it's great and you want to!

My mood: LEGAL!
Wyatt's mood: Biking is fun (if he could ever actually do it).
Listening to: Jason Mraz

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