Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A Baby Really Ruins Your Figure!!

     Ohmygosh!!! Having a baby and staying fit is hard!! I know this isn't exactly new information, but come on!! I don't think it helps that my baby was born in late September, so it went Boom! baby, then Boom! Halloween, then Bang! Thanksgiving, then Pow! Winter Break, then Bang! Christmas, followed by Thwack! New Years and Ka-Blam! Valentine's Day, but I am getting ahead of myself.

I used to look like this:

My long lost prime

Now, I know that's not a picture that's going to start any internet riots or anything, I mean I'm not a movie star (though I've never really tried), but it's not bad. Notice how my shirt doesn't hit any belly, but just falls freely. See how I only have one chin. Look at how cool I look carrying a gun and wearing well-fitting jeans! Mmmhmm.

This was taken recently (by the paparazzi):

My here-to-stay present self

How many chins do you count? Look at that hair!! It's embarrassing the way it grabs those ears. I definitely didn't even bother to put on makeup either.I think the pockets of those shorts are holding marbles or something, that shirt is absurdly stretched (and not in a sexy way, look at its collar!), and its clearly grabbing my still-have-a-baby-bump belly, which is noticeable from the side. I need some sleep and I need some vegetables. I guess I need to continue my exercises too...

Still, I don't need the ol' spouse coming home, laughing and saying "doesn't daddy look handsome?!" Like I have time to cook, clean, raise a child, play video games, watch Firefly, facebook and look good for you at the end of the day. Puhlease.

My mood: sadface
Baby's mood: "I want to lay on my belly!!"
Listening to: Two Door Cinema Club

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