Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Pro-tip: Leave Food On The Floor

     Ahh Cheerios. How I adore you and your bland, heart-healthy source of nourishment. I've been told by many other mothers that if I put some cheerios in one place, that the baby will be occupied picking and eating them for a good while. It's a great way to buy some time and feed the baby.

     Well, moms, let me show you what a man can do:

     Spread the cheerios all over the house!! In every nook and cranny! Now, wherever he goes, he'll be fed and occupied! For hours!! It's wonderful. I've even tested my theory and left the house to run some errands. Wyatt was content crawling around for almost the whole time! Only the last hour or so was he crying hysterically (I assume it was about an hour, I can't really know. I am just judging based on how hoarse his voice was, how tired he was, and the fact that he was out of tears). I don't limit myself to cheerios either, but any bread-like substance:

Crumbs of bread by the coach. Wy loves them!!
     Well, I've taken this idea and really Tim-the-tool-man-Taylor'ed it like a Binford Jigsaw Ultra 2000. It's not just cheerios anymore. I'll lay around bread of any sort, fruits and veggies, little piles of sugar - and then I had this great idea:


     If I just pour some juice on the floor, he can find it whenever. On the vinyl, it pools up for him to drink like a cat. On carpet it gets naturally absorbed by the fibers, where he can find it and suck it whenever! He's able to feed himself! It's every dad's dream. And I made it happen. How resourceful I am.

     I am thinking about other things I can make for him, like a bottle that props on the carseat so he can drink while I drive, or a gerbil-style feeder for his crib. It's my goal to have as much un-interrupted Zelda time as possible, while teaching Wyatt self-reliance.

     (For the record, I have never left the baby alone at home, or anywhere else. I am afraid to leave him in the car when I pay for gas at the pump. In fact, since I am such a devoted parentm when I put him down for the night in his crib, I usually just stare over it until he wakes up. That's daddy-of-the-year stuff right there.)

My mood: dopey
Wyatt's mood: bashful
Listening to: Pink Martini

1 comment:

  1. you are hilarious , and creative.. !!