Friday, March 9, 2012

Nursery Nightmare

My wife would probably prefer that I clean up the nursery before I put it online for the world to see. But I am trying to give a glimpse into our actual lives, not the lives I want to portray. This is real, yo. Besides, if she wants it clean so bad she could clean it herself sometime. Instead of spending all day at work, doing "work stuff" while I am home with the baby blogging and netflixing. This is a long caption.

     I think Wyatt is scared of his crib, and I think I figured out why.

     It's terrifying.

     The nursery as a whole is pretty great. It's got a soft blue paint on the walls and a crib and a rocking chair and a changing station and books and soft toys and stuffed animals.

     And it has a mobile of monkeys! What fun is that?!

     No fun! It's no fun when his mom spins the mobile at night, and there are singing, dancing monkeys with claws above his head, taunting him. And what are those little round things?! Drops of poison? Rain?! You should see the shadows this thing makes at night. It's awful. I wouldn't be able to sleep in there, and not just because I can't fit in the crib.

     But that's not the worst. In the nursery there are these two old-timey posters that the wife cut up and framed. They are actually quite quaint:

     Soft rolling hills and mountains, and a train rolling along the side of a cliff. Sounds peaceful, right?

     Wrong! It's a nightmare! Why? There's no engine. Anywhere. Those two train cars are careening down the side of a cliff with a huge curve in it and there's nothing to stop them. The passengers in it are mortified, and Wyatt is stuck in a room that reminds him of two things: You have no control of the world around you (there is no engine, only tracks), and the animals would kill you if they could.

      And is there a subtle, creepy reflection of a person in that picture?! We have to move.

     My mood: protective of my baby
     Wyatt's mood: leery
     Listening to: Incubus

1 comment:

  1. There's nothing quite so unsettling as several dozen monkeys silently vogueing in the half-light of dusk. Unless it's that train picture.

    My compliments to the decorator!