Who Is This Kid?!

   Wyatt got a haircut everybody!! This has got to be the most exciting thing that has happened to me since that episode of The Bachelor where all of those crazy exciting things happened! Now, it's not Wyatt's first haircut. His mom has given him little trimmings here and there whenever he can sit still or be distracted long enough, but this is the first time it 's been drastically changed all around.
   We'll show the old hairdo and the new one right in a row so you can compare:

Before

After

   Can you see the difference!?

   I was hoping to never ever cut his hair, so that we could see if Wyatt was going to be a modern-day Sampson. By "modern day" i mean still super strong, but instead of using his strength for killing Philistines, he uses it to play baseball and to kill today's Philistines (Racists. No, wait! I mean racism. He's going to kill racism, not racists, because those are two drastically different things). But his mom let a razor touch his hair one day, so those dreams were shattered.

   But just look at the little boy now! I almost don't recognize him. I loved his long, light hair. It would blow in the breeze and stand up on edge when he rolled around, and it was just oh so soft. Kind of like that Downy Bear on the box of detergent, I think.

Super Wy is able to build tall buildings and break them in a single bound!

   It took me a couple days to adjust to the new boy's look. I come home from work one day and all of a sudden there was this kid without his long, blond, breezy hair for me to play with. Remember when it used to do this?

   It's good that Wyatt has such a great mommy who takes care of things like that. She's the one that cuts his hair, trims his nails, brushes his teeth, makes sure he's eating vegetables, sets up appointments to make doctor's appointments, reads books to him and takes naps with him. She's the best! I'm also pretty great too though!
   In fact, now that I think about it I'm pretty sure that Wyatt has brushed his teeth more than I have in the last couple of months. And he's definitely read more books. And eaten more vegetables. Why doesn't mommy take better care of me too?

My mood: stuff to do on this Saturday!
Wyatt's mood: generally indifferent
Listening to: Wicked Soundtrack

Daddy-Dressed!!

   I wasn't voted "Best Dad At Dressing His Son" by the City of Eugene just because I know how to throw together some overalls and a long-sleeved shirt. I wasn't voted "Best Dad At Dressing His Son" at all, actually, but if I had been, it would not be because of the last couple weeks. This happened today:

Velcro points to the outside! Come on, Grant, you learned this years ago!

   Sadly, it did not happen on purpose. I can't even claim to be in a hurry. I actually stopped, looked at the shoes and at his feet and thought I was putting the right shoe on the right foot, when in fact I was putting the right shoe on the wrong left foot. He walked around kind of funny for about half an hour outside, started to fuss and we went home. You might be thinking "If he was walking funny, Grant, then didn't you notice what was going on and look for a problem?!" No! He's been walking funny in general the last few days. One reason he's been walking funny is that when I put him in these shoes, sometimes his toes get kind of smushed. Not because the shoes are small, because they are bent when we try to shove his feet into the too-small shoes.
   Mostly, though, he's been walking funny because he's been trying to walk on his tiptoes. I think he's finally picking that trait up from me. I walk on my tiptoes because it makes me pretty like a ballerina. So in a few years he'll have well-defined calves and knee problems just like his dad.
   You might also be thinking "Wait are his pants even on? Why do they look so baggy there?" He likes to pull them down to show off his diaper. He's come to the school where I teach a couple times in the past week and noticed the trend. He's very impressionable.

   Also sadly, that wasn't the first time we'd had a shoe issue that week:

   Now, the non-matching shoes wasn't my fault. I just couldn't find matching ones. And the sandals-with-socks faux-pas wasn't my fault either. He just already had socks on and I wanted to go play frisbee. Do his pants look funny again?! LEAVE ME ALONE!!

   But to make up for that awful-shoe-week we had, I took this picture of him in overalls and a long-sleeved shirt.

   Okay, so, it's not a great picture. Leave me alone!

My mood: I want to be left alone!
Wyatt's mood: feet hurt
Listening to: Kidz Bop 45

Sick Little Baby

Don't worry, we don't let him run around with a screw driver in his mouth. Just walk around.

Now, don't go reading the title of this here blog post and think it's going to be about something disgusting. I could go on and on about how hard Wyatt's little (and not so little) poops have been lately, and how he'll cry and scream whilest in the act of pooping, but we try and stay away from such vulgar topics here.

Also, he was naked in that photo above. Can I get arrested for this?

  No, today we'll just be discussing the cold he had, the cold his mommy had, and we'll compare which of the two of them handled it better. There will be discussion of some snot, so if that offends you then call my mom. She'll probably agree and you can talk about what a bad job she did raising me.

When Wyatt has a cold, he is much needier and cuddlier. He'll hold you tight and rest on your shoulder and want to nap with you more. Now, when I say "you," I don't mean you, because he doesn't want you. He wants me or his mom. But, if you are me or his mom, it's pretty great.

When Cara has a cold, on the other hand, she wants you to get her tea and make her food and give her massages and let her sleep and she complains about her back hurting and she wants to watch Numbers for six hours a day. The baby being a baby is precious, the mommy being a baby is annoying.

When Wyatt has a cold, his face his nose becomes a snot faucet. He doesn't like wiping his nose (or having it wiped for him), but Cara thinks she taught him how to blow his nose. I highly doubt this, because I didn't truly grasp the concept until like seventh grade, and he's not that smart (edit: okay maybe he is you caught me).

When Cara has a cold she wipes her own nose and doesn't complain about it. Advantage Cara. Way to go you beat a 16-month-old at something, you're the best, honey!


When Wyatt has a cold, he pretends like his bear has a cold and takes care of the bear:

Blowing the bear's nose.

Examining the results of the blown nose?

Giving the bear a kiss after the checkup, just like my doctor does to me. Thanks Doctor Susan!

Sheesh that's cute. Let's not even bother comparing to Cara because she's going to lose.

Speaking of kisses, when Wyatt has a cold he wants to give more of them. I can't express how cute Wyatt's kisses are. Here, let me express it to you: When he wants to give a kiss he either shuts his lips tight and makes the "mmmm" sound, or opens his mouth pretty wide and makes the same "mmmm" sound. It's either a peck on the lips or a full-on French kiss. Yesterday he decided he wanted to give me a kiss. The space under his lips was coated in snot (And I had just wiped it! Yesterday!). He makes the open-mouthed "mmmm" sound and leans in. I have a moment to think: He hasn't given me a kiss in weeks and they are so dang precious. But he wants a French kiss. Even if my mouth is closed, he's just going to shove his snot right on my face and up my nose? Is it worth it? It's worth it.
   I let him kiss me. He wants another. The second one lasts longer. I now have more of his snot on my face than he has his snot on his face. Worth it.

   That got me thinking about what I would trade for Wy kisses. If someone walked up to me and said "You can have $10 or a Wy kiss," I would choose the kiss. They are just so rare and precious. At what point would I take the money? I'd definitely take a million dollars over a kiss, and a thousand and a hundred. Fifty dollars? Yeah, I think so. 25 Dollars? Probably. $15? I want to say no so you'll think I'm a good parent, but the fact is I probably would take the $15. $10? I'd never considered that before. $10 is like a delicious meal eating out, without Cara. Yeah, I'd do that.
   I settled on $4. Judge all you want.

   Cara's kisses when she is sick are non-existent. She won't kiss me when she's sick (or healthy, something about "the love being gone" or whatever). So, somehow even a snotty $4 Wyatt kiss still trumps my wife when she's sick. This is getting sad.

   I am going stop comparing now, even though I have like four more categories, because Cara just woke up and isn't liking the looks of things over here, so I need to hit "publish" before things get worse. Stay healthy everyone!

My mood: a bit scared
Wyatt's mood: sick but feeling better
Listening to: Natalie Cole

Fine Motor Skills!!

Disaster imminent: There was an open applesauce on the corner of the table. Wyatt saw it, wanted it, and could reach it. He went for it. I was powerless to do anything about because I was watching Parks and Rec online and Andy was going off on Chris about how Chris stole April from Andy because Andy was dead but he wasn't. It was comedy gold. I can't just leave that. But then I did. I ran over to the baby and the table and what did I see?

   Oh, no big deal. He only set it down on the mat (not the carpet), walked over to grab a spoon, and then fed himself with the spoon!! Yeah, he was 15 months old at the time (he's now 16 months old). I don't know if there's ever been a more coordinated 15-month-year-old in the history of Eugene Oregon 97401, but if there has then that kid must've been a genius.
   He can actually scoop up ice-cream organic yogurt into his spoon and feed himself without making a mess all over the table. Now, his shirt and his face are a disaster, but he's doing good. In fact, he can feed it to me as well.

   Makes you wonder, what else can this kid do?

   Somewhere along the line, Wyatt learned to pretend-snore. We don't know where. The only snorer in our family is his grandpa, but we've never pretended to sleep by snoring. Still, he'll do this (watch him, not me):

   Sheesh that's cute. Also, my arms looked super buff there (because they are).

My mood: I feel like I've been neglecting you AND my child instead of just my child. Sorry everyone.
Wyatt's mood: Spider bit!
Listening to: the pellet stove roar