Monday, February 18, 2013

Sick Little Baby

Don't worry, we don't let him run around with a screw driver in his mouth. Just walk around.

Now, don't go reading the title of this here blog post and think it's going to be about something disgusting. I could go on and on about how hard Wyatt's little (and not so little) poops have been lately, and how he'll cry and scream whilest in the act of pooping, but we try and stay away from such vulgar topics here.

Also, he was naked in that photo above. Can I get arrested for this?

  No, today we'll just be discussing the cold he had, the cold his mommy had, and we'll compare which of the two of them handled it better. There will be discussion of some snot, so if that offends you then call my mom. She'll probably agree and you can talk about what a bad job she did raising me.

When Wyatt has a cold, he is much needier and cuddlier. He'll hold you tight and rest on your shoulder and want to nap with you more. Now, when I say "you," I don't mean you, because he doesn't want you. He wants me or his mom. But, if you are me or his mom, it's pretty great.

When Cara has a cold, on the other hand, she wants you to get her tea and make her food and give her massages and let her sleep and she complains about her back hurting and she wants to watch Numbers for six hours a day. The baby being a baby is precious, the mommy being a baby is annoying.

When Wyatt has a cold, his face his nose becomes a snot faucet. He doesn't like wiping his nose (or having it wiped for him), but Cara thinks she taught him how to blow his nose. I highly doubt this, because I didn't truly grasp the concept until like seventh grade, and he's not that smart (edit: okay maybe he is you caught me).

When Cara has a cold she wipes her own nose and doesn't complain about it. Advantage Cara. Way to go you beat a 16-month-old at something, you're the best, honey!

When Wyatt has a cold, he pretends like his bear has a cold and takes care of the bear:

Blowing the bear's nose.

Examining the results of the blown nose?

Giving the bear a kiss after the checkup, just like my doctor does to me. Thanks Doctor Susan!

Sheesh that's cute. Let's not even bother comparing to Cara because she's going to lose.

Speaking of kisses, when Wyatt has a cold he wants to give more of them. I can't express how cute Wyatt's kisses are. Here, let me express it to you: When he wants to give a kiss he either shuts his lips tight and makes the "mmmm" sound, or opens his mouth pretty wide and makes the same "mmmm" sound. It's either a peck on the lips or a full-on French kiss. Yesterday he decided he wanted to give me a kiss. The space under his lips was coated in snot (And I had just wiped it! Yesterday!). He makes the open-mouthed "mmmm" sound and leans in. I have a moment to think: He hasn't given me a kiss in weeks and they are so dang precious. But he wants a French kiss. Even if my mouth is closed, he's just going to shove his snot right on my face and up my nose? Is it worth it? It's worth it.
   I let him kiss me. He wants another. The second one lasts longer. I now have more of his snot on my face than he has his snot on his face. Worth it.

   That got me thinking about what I would trade for Wy kisses. If someone walked up to me and said "You can have $10 or a Wy kiss," I would choose the kiss. They are just so rare and precious. At what point would I take the money? I'd definitely take a million dollars over a kiss, and a thousand and a hundred. Fifty dollars? Yeah, I think so. 25 Dollars? Probably. $15? I want to say no so you'll think I'm a good parent, but the fact is I probably would take the $15. $10? I'd never considered that before. $10 is like a delicious meal eating out, without Cara. Yeah, I'd do that.
   I settled on $4. Judge all you want.

   Cara's kisses when she is sick are non-existent. She won't kiss me when she's sick (or healthy, something about "the love being gone" or whatever). So, somehow even a snotty $4 Wyatt kiss still trumps my wife when she's sick. This is getting sad.

   I am going stop comparing now, even though I have like four more categories, because Cara just woke up and isn't liking the looks of things over here, so I need to hit "publish" before things get worse. Stay healthy everyone!

My mood: a bit scared
Wyatt's mood: sick but feeling better
Listening to: Natalie Cole

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