Sunday, May 4, 2014

New Feeding Rituals!!

We've always been pretty informal when it comes to feeding Wyatt. When I say "we" I really mean "not Cara" because she actually likes to sit down at the table and have a good meal and talk and stuff. I just think we should get food in our bellies and get back to watching reruns of White Collar.

Here's a tip: when the special little kid is eating, he's going to make a mess. So, if eating outside isn't an option, just leave everything on the kitchen floor, in a bowl, as if the kid were a pet. At more advanced stages, it looks like this:

No clothes, no napkins, no carpet to ruin, just some cereal on a stool. And the dishwasher is already ready to be loaded already!

Sometimes Wyatt is eats really quiet and takes a long time. Any seasoned parent knows that silence is a very unsettling sound, but I am not a seasoned parent so I go with it. When I realize something's probably up, it's way too late. A few days ago, I gave Wy some Psgetti and then decided to use my valuable time elsewhere. When I returned, after having not supervised Wyatt eating pasta with tomato sauce for an extended period of time, well, things actually couldn't have gone much better:

Holy meatballs did I dodge a bullet. Sure, he ate almost nothing, and just played with his food the whole time, but he basically washed his dishes for me and contained the whole mess in one space. We'll attribute this to the fact that I've raised him well.

Now, you might be looking over these meals and thinking "Wow that's a lot of carbs there, Grantly, don't you think you should throw something green in there?" Funny story: I went grocery shopping, and returned from Costco with several days worth of food: chicken, bison, salmon, lasagna, pasta and pasta sauce, cereal, brownie mix, milk and cheese. After preparing a feast for the first night, Cara comes home from work, ungrateful as always, and asks "Do we have any vegetables?" I thought for a second, and then said "No. Um, buying vegetables didn't even cross my mind."

Because I'M A MAN.

My mood: hungry
Wyatt's mood: bored with his food
Listening to: The Zombies

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