Fun With The Sun!!

Wyatt, sleeping in his rather palatial bed. One of three, really.

   Recently, Wyatt became absolutely enthralled with the rising and setting of the sun. I mean, every day we are aware of the following three things: If the sun is up, if it's getting dark fast, or if it is dark.

   One day, late in the summer, we were at the park. All the big kids were playing, and lately Wyatt has loved making friends with the big kids at the park. (He'll walk up to some big kids that are playing. He'll stand silently, about 4 feet from them, and look at them. He'll look at me, smile, and point to the big kids. Then he'll say "These my friends!" It doesn't always progress to him making friends beyond this stage.) The big kids, all at once, left. We needed to leave too. Wyatt asked why, and I said "It's going to get dark soon!"

   He. Was. In. Awe. How did I know? I could predict the light? I said "Look over at the sun!" (Disclaimer: This is not always good advice.) He saw that it was setting, and immediately understood.

Wyatt's learned how to "cheese" for pictures, meaning his smiles are now more just like dental examinations. Also, he complained about splinters FOR DAYS.

   That night there was a fantastic sunset. I sat in a chair in the middle of my driveway and watched it all, and he ran around me, watching too. He pointed out every color, and how the colors would change every couple of minutes. SPOILER ALERT. Then it got dark.

   He. Was. So. Sad. Where'd the sun go?! And all the pretty colors!? We had to leave the park and the colors left and it got dark. His sadness was palpable. I quickly told him the sun would come up tomorrow. 

   He. Was. So. Relieved. We talked about the sun coming up tomorrow all night long. Bet your bottom dollar. 

   This cycle has been on repeat for well over a month now. Every day it's all about the sun and what it's doing. Luckily, we've had the greatest October in US history here in Eugene, and it's been warm, bright, and dry. I worry about what this kid's going to do when the sky turns grey for the coming winter, which will probably last eleven years.

   But in the meantime, he wakes up every morning happy that the sun is up. Pretty much every day since has started like this:

   He just wakes up extremely happy that (a) the sun is up, and (b) one of his parents is around. It's quite wonderful. Sure, he was sad that mom was going to work, but he waits for her a bit like a lovesick puppy. And he had a great time at church (I think. I just drop him off for some childcare and then go play Keno).

My mood: meh
Wy's mood: it's dark.
Cara's feeling: acid reflux
Listening to: Powerline. No, seriously.

New Skills!!

   Wyatt has been doing all kinds of fun new things lately. He still loves his walks and his cars and playing at the park and renaming all my files on the computer to "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasd", that hasn't changed, but this stuff is going on too:

   He's doing that fake-reading thing. Nick Miller once said "I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words," and that's where we find our hero in this adorable little video:

   Ohmygosh that's adorable. Probably the cutest thing you've seen in days, right? Well, he also went to the dentist for the first time!! Since I am a great dad I don't miss important firsts like this, so I can tell you all about it.

Hanging out. Like a boss. You know how they say you are never more than eight feet from a spider? First: Gross. Second: Wyatt's never more than two feet from a car.

   We walked into the dentist's office at 6:00am and went up to the desk and said "Here we are!" and the dentist behind the desk was like "whoa okay great let's get right to it!" and Wyatt sat down in the chair and the dentist checked his ears and took his heartbeat and then brushed his teeth and then brushed Wyatt's teeth and gave him a shot of fluoride in the shoulder and wyatt didn't even cry! and then the dentist put on his dinosaur costume and made the "rawrr!" sound and Wyatt just loved that. Soon another dentist came in and was all "these are the best teeth I have ever seen on a kid." and I said "Well we brush them every week!" which probably isn't true and then they gave us our little ice-pick-for-your-teeth like they give everyone and OKAY FINE YOU CAUGHT ME I WASN'T THERE. YOU HAPPY!? I MISSED WYATT'S FIRST DENTIST APPOINTMENT BECAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY AT MY JOB WORKING FOR THE MAN. IT LOOKS LIKE I WILL NOT WIN "FATHER OF THE YEAR THIS YEAR" AND NOW I'LL NEVER HAVE A STORY TO SHARE ABOUT WY'S FIRST DENTIST TRIP. WHEN ALL THE OTHER DAD'S ARE LIKE "OH LITTLE AEDEN WAS SO BRAVE" OR WHATEVER I'LL JUST HAVE TO TRY AND MAKE SOMETHING UP AND WE CAN ALREADY SEE I AM NOT GOOD AT THAT AND I'LL PROBABLY JUST START YELLING LIKE I AM RIGHT NOW.

   So, yeah, Cara took him to the dentist. And Cara is the one he reads with. And Cara feeds him and does art projects with him. Great, Cara, we get it. You'll probably get a nomination for "Mother of the Month This Month" or something and we are all impressed. The worst part is, while she is collecting trophies, I still can't even get nominated for a "Best Mommy Blogger" award that I am sure is a real thing. They keep telling me I "don't have the right equipment to be a mommy blogger," and I'm like "what do I need an iPhone 4 or something?" Then they say "Grantina isn't even a real name - much less a girl's name - please leave us alone!"

   What else... what else. Oh, he loves to look for things he can't find, and walk around in circles saying "Oh no we went in a circle!!" Watch this boring video:

   There's one other skill that Wyatt has learned. For some unknown reason, Cara taught Wyatt to scream all his favorite noises in my face to wake me from my peaceful sleeps. It's the worst game ever, and yet it probably only endears her even more to the anti-dad voters on the board of Mom Of The Month This Month. Look:

 
   So there you go. That's my life, now. Getting screamed at and stepped on whenever I try to sleep at the wrong time, or in the wrong place. Now you know why I sleep during church. Or when I am driving. Or at work.

My mood: underappreciated and overworked!!
Wy's mood: don't let dad sleep!!
Cara's feeling: sore and cranky
Listening to: Red Hot Chili Peppers

Just The Cutest Little Prayers!!

   We've been praying with Wyatt at night as we go to bed. We don't really pray before our meals because we don't really have meals as much as we have a grazing system. Sometimes Wyatt repeats what we pray, sometimes he just sits, but he loves holding hands and cuddling. Here's the best video we have:

   He likes to translate things into his own language. If I pray for a good night's sleep, he says "night night," and if I thank God for mom he says "thank mom!"

   Here's the worst video we have:

   The other night, we actually got him to pray on his own. It went like this: "Dear God. Night night. Thx mom. Thx dad. Thx papa mama. Thx weem wy. Thx choo choo. Thx choo choo track. Thx dump truck. Thx water truck. Thx trash truck. Thx car. Thx wee car. Thx faith. Thx granmama." Just like we taught him. It's like how I pray "Thanks God for my Nintendo Wii, and my DS and my old Super Nintendo and my old Gameboy and also for my frisbees and for netflix and for bikes and for The Wire and for Arrested Development."

   Odds are pretty good this is about as cute as it will get. Pretty soon he'll be enunciating and using whole sentences, sadly, so I'm glad I have just a little bit of video here to remember.

My mood: Nostalgic
Wy's mood: Car racing.
Cara's Doing: Hungry
Listening To: U2

Crabbing!!

   Guys!! I need to make this very clear to you: I lead a super exciting life full of fun and adventure. Even though I have the special little kid, it's not like my life is any less full throttle than it was 5 years ago.
 
   Proof: A few weekends ago, Cara and I spontaneously decided to go crabbing. (Ha!! For a second there those b's in "crabbing" were accidental p's. What fun!) We'd bought a "pot" - which is what the indigenous people call the crab-trap-box - a few months earlier on sale and wanted to try it, so we hopped in the manlyvan for another trip to the coast.
   Spontaneous trips to the coast?! Well that's only all we ever did in college.

Circa 2005

   This was taken in a simpler time, when Cara had a boyfriend who wasn't me and I had a haircut that should've happened weeks ago. You might think "I wonder if Grant is embarassed by a picture with his hair like that?" No. I am not. Because I know there are also pictures like this:

Circa a few months later in 2005

   The scarf definitely makes that thing work. I'm so glad to know this picture, which I pulled off facebook, will be on the internet forever.
       Anyways, crabbing. We loaded up the pot, 4 or 5 random cords and ropes, some thawing chicken, and all the little-boy gear we'd ever need. Then we drove as West as the roads can take you. To our surprise, and I mean we were shocked, it was an absolutely glorious day at the coast. The sun wasn't really out, there was light cloud cover the whole time, but it was warm, breezy, light and relaxing. Days like this at the coast are a treat.

This might not look like much, but imagine all of the paintings it could inspire!

   So, here's the deal. We have no idea how to crab. I've never been crabbing before, I'm pretty sure Cara hadn't either because she was absolutely useless the whole time, and we were to afraid to ask all the other "pro" crabbers around us at the dock for help, so we just tied three ropes together to make them long enough to reach the ocean floor, strung some chicken up (do crabs like chicken?! I'm sure they do, who doesn't?) and then pulled the pot up again a couple hours later.

   And if you don't think having a two-year-old running around the docks above the water for half an hour is stressful, well, um, you'd... you'd be wrong. So, we decided to leave it and play at the water for a while.

   Wyatt did not like the route we had to take to the water, through the grasses.

   Why didn't we just carry him? BECAUSE HE HAS TO LEARN, THAT'S WHY.

   WYATT SURE LOVED TO PLAY ONCE WE GOT THERE SORRY I LEFT MY CAPS ON FROM ABOVE AND JUST NOW NOTICED. We discovered that he likes two things: putting sand on his head and running from the water.

   We had so much fun. It's rare to be on the beach in Oregon in November and not have to hide from the brutal, mercilessly cold winds. Also, I think Cara finally has a picture of the two of us that doesn't make her regret marrying me.

Hmm. Grant might need to invest in some teeth whitening.

  We returned to our pots (which, when I write it like that makes it sound like we are drug addicts), only to find that all of the bait was gone, and there were no crabs in it. It turns out we didn't have the traps set up correctly, so the crabs could come and go as they pleased. So instead of crab for dinner, we feasted on some Safeway Chinese take-out, which was our plan all along anyways and in no way disappointing. Still, we had lots of fun and skipped a gross, dark, foggy day back home for a fun day in the sand. Yay us! We're the best and exciting and don't spend all of our time at home okay!!

   My mood: Pleased with our fun day!
   Wyatt's mood: Hates having sandy hair in his carseat!!
   Listening to: Enya

New Giggle!!

   People ask me all the time "How do you do it, Grant?!" They are usually referring to the pterodactyl sound I can make that sounds just like the real thing, but in some cases they want to know how I come up with such downright fascinating material. How can I consistently turn out quality blog posts on an at least bi-monthly basis, without any help from anyone else and especially not from my wife?!
   Well, it's easy when you've got stuff like this to work with:

   Now, I know his tongue kind of steals the show (how can a tongue be so cute?!), but did you hear that cackle he makes? The one right at the beginning? Go watch it again. We aren't sure where it comes from, but somewhere in the last three months he must have seen a woody woodpecker clip or something. Holy poo it's fun. Cara and I can't get enough of it, and try to get him to make the sound whenever we can.

   But here's the thing: I can't even tell if he's actually laughing half the time. I think it's just the sound he makes whenever he's thinking about, well, anything. Still, I'll take it whenever I can get it.

   Also, on a related note, Wyatt had like his six cutest minutes ever last night. If you know me, you know that I don't like using the word "ever" unless it's followed by the words "ending pasta bowl." Oh, and also if it all started with an n. But seriously, this is going to be tough for the little charmer to top:
   Cara and Wyatt and I were laying in his bed. Cara or I would take turns making the "mmmmmm" sound with our lips, and then Wyatt would lean in to kiss us on the mouth. We'd kiss and say "mwa!" like all people do when they kiss, at all times, and Wyatt would do his proud triumphant laugh. That went on for like 3 minutes. But then, instead of us making the "mmmmm" sound, Wyatt would make the "mmmmm" sound and one of us would kiss him. Then he'd do the "mwa!" and do his proud laugh. Ohmygoodness I could have died. In fact I almost did, but there was a marble involved and it's pretty unrelated so just focus on how stinkin' adorable that all must have been.
   After we'd had a good make-out session, I went to grab the camera, and of course he stopped doing it. Maybe I can get it on camera later. But at this point, it's probably better in your imagination anyways.
   YOU'RE WELCOME.

My mood: loved!
Wyatt's mood: loved!
Listening to: All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey (now with more jingle!!)

It Is A Treat Being Married To Me!!!!

   I know I know I know. You sit there and you think "how did she get so lucky?" How did she land a guy that takes such good care of her AND the baby? Well, we're not sure. We talk about it all the time. What?! You don't know what I am talking about!? Let me show you:  

   If you didn't catch what was going on up there, Wyatt has become a little bit shy when he's doing his dirty work. Lately I'll find him in a corner, behind a chair or something, crouching, staring and occasionally grunting. It's pretty adorable, really. So, I encourage him to walk up next to his mom, brace himself on her, and get to work. She wants that kind of bonding time with her son, and I allow it to happen frequently.
   (Also, that was a monster poop. Like, he almost pooped out a monster. I'm sure when you woke up this morning you thought "I'd like to read a thrown-together blog post centering around poop.")

   Here's what happened next:

   We've already talked about how Wyatt knows some of his boundaries and tries to push them. He's not allowed to touch the computer, so he'll drop things on it, "accidentally" fall on it, walk into it, or poke it with a stick or something. Clever boy. And don't worry, Cara loves it when I let him be free, it doesn't annoy her when she's watching something.

   So, as you can see, while Cara is watching some show on her computer, she lets her poopie son run all around causing destruction. I'm a cool customer, though, so I don't freak out. I just remind her of her motherly duty to change all diapers, clean the house, make some food and entertain the baby. I would try to help but I am busy documenting our lives.

   What do I mean by "documenting our lives," exactly? Well, I want proof that we are great parents who only want the best for our son while maintaining a safe and healthy home. Like this:

   Before you go nuts and call social services, know that the house has only been like this for like two weeks, and I'll get it all cleaned up today or tomorrow or whenever I finish Battlestar Gallactica. Today, while Cara is at work and I have a precious day off school, I plan to play with my son, blog a little, pinterest a lot, and maybe take a shower. There's definitely no time to clean anything.
   (Also, when I say "he got in the shredder," it's not like the shredder was plugged in or anything. And, even if it was, it's not like he knows how to operate it anyways. So, that's no big deal either. Also, "the shredder" is a pretty cool name that I should incorporate into my persona.)
   How did she get so lucky?!

My mood: proud to be so good at being a husband
Cara's mood: frustrated because can't finish her show.
Wyatt's mood: wants his diaper changed.
Listening to: that blow my whistle baby song. 

Positive Reinforcement

   I want to keep this forever so that we can always have proof for Wyatt that he was happy and we were good parents.

   Here's another probably-way-too-long video, but I post the whole thing because I know that my aunts read this. Also, holy crap is it cute and fun:

   If you'd like to nominate us for parents of the year, I don't know how to do that or if it's a thing. So, that's on you.

My mood: exhausted

Wyatt's mood: proud

Listening to: Brothers On A Hotel Bed (over and over) by Death Cab for Cutie

I KNOW I KNOW I'M SORRY!!

   Over a week!? What was I thinking!? Well, you can stop your angry emails and glares when I see you at the store. I usually write a few blog posts on the weekend, and whenever else I can find time, but last weekend I was hunting with other manly men who don't drive minivans (yes, I drove the only manlyvan I saw all weekend). And no, I am not going to post pictures of the trip here, because it really isn't all that cute and adorable, that's what you're here for. Your here for stuff like this:

I'll always think that horse has a creepy face

   Why do I mostly write blog posts on weekends? Because the rest of the week is me time. Well, more specifically, it's me-and-Mario time. But I think we're all missing the big picture here. Sure, you can be frustrated with me, but what is my wife doing all this time!? Why am I the one who's solely responsible to provide the world with the blessing of Wyatt?! Is it really so important for her to "meal plan" (whatever that is, I don't even think it's real.)? Or to make and freeze a few dinners? Or even to make a delicious homemade pasta sauce from our garden tomatoes?! Sure, those are all great things. But, can we really claim that they are more important than this blog?! I don't think we can.

   Anyways, here's a fun video of Cara and Wyatt spinning on a chair to placate you.

   What fun!! I love spinning in chairs. I used to take my chair from my room into the back yard and spin it for minutes. I love being dizzy. It's important we bring the conversation back to me whenever possible.

My mood: "busy"
Wy's mood: dizzy
Listening to: Carole King

Wyatt's First Birthday Party!! Wahoo!!

   What a great day!! Cara and I wanted to throw a fun little party for Wyatt's first birthday. By now you've probably seen the infamous moment that came out of the party, but there's still more great stuff!! We chose the theme "The Legend of Zelda." Now, people seem to question using the word "we" in that last line. I can honestly say she was the one that pitched it, and I was the one that ran with it. Since you probably don't know, and jokes are funniest when they have to be explained to everyone at the party, "Link" is the main character, the one pictured above (image found at zeldapedia, which is of course a real website). Link is trying to save Princess Zelda. 

   Cara had a lot of fun making his little tunic and his cute little hat. We even toyed with the idea of giving him little elf ears, but, really, he already has them (you're welcome, Wyatt!!) But, did you know that there are lots of things about The Legend of Zelda that translate really well to a birthday party!? Of course you didn't! You've never played the game, just like how none of the people that were actually at the party had played the game, save for my brother!! So, I'll explain everything in excruciatingly precise, embarrassing detail like I did to them, and you'll love it!

The Birthday Video

   Okay people!! The big day has come and gone, and little Wyatt is firmly entrenched in his second year of life. There's lots to share that I know you're just dying to see because my life is so dang exciting and rewarding. I mean, what else do you have to do besides read all about a one-year-old's video-game-themed birthday party?! Nothing! That's what I thought. (For what it's worth, I clearly have even less to do since I can plan the party and then blog it).

   But before we get to the good stuff, let's start with the great stuff. Meaning this video. This video is pretty great.

   I have a feeling this one's going down as family lore, to be laughed about forever - and replayed forever. Watch it again and see if you can pinpoint the exact moment that I was most frustrated with my wife...  it's tough to do but give it a shot.

   For what it's worth, the whole time I was thinking "well, I guess we'll blow out the candle for him, and she seems pretty careful not to put it too close." But then she scooted it closer. And then she took out his bink and the candle was still burning. Did she think that he'd know to blow it out?! We never really let him interact with fire, just to be clear.

   I am just so glad it happened, because Wyatt isn't burned and I can end any argument with "at least I didn't give a baby any sort of flame ever." Until I do something stupider, like encourage him to try to walk along the fence...

   We're good parents, okay!!

My mood: exhausted but happy
Wyatt's mood: stuff everywhere! (and no, he's not burned!!)
Listening to: ... um ... still zelda music, actually.

Back to Basics

   Ok, I get it!! I'm reading you loud and clear!!

   You're saying Grant, every other mommy blog I read is actually about the baby. Most of your posts center on you, your minivan, and your lack of friends. I don't care about that stuff!! It's depressing!! Show me some more of your cute baby!!

   Yeah, yeah, I get it. No one ever wants to see me any more. When I get invited to dinner parties help someone move, they always end with "can Wyatt come too?" I'm like "yeah, he can come, but he won't be helpful in the move unless you need some laundry scattered."

   So I've done some research. I've tracked down some other mommy blogs, and now I see what this is supposed to be like. Let me start fresh:

For Your Viewing Pleasure

   Yeah, go ahead and judge our DVD collection. We don't care.




   My mood: self-conscious but laughing
   Wyatt's mood: OCD
   Wife's mood: happy to help
   Watching: Vertical Limit on DVD