Three!!

THIS. CUPCAKE. IS GETTING. MASSACRED.

   My special little kid just turned three years old, everyone!! This is huge news and will have a great impact on your day because of the importance that my child holds in the world!! I can already imagine how you are planning on incorporating this information into your plans for the near future!!

   You've seen how we really did up his first birthday, as well as the absolutely wonderful video that came with it. Then, last year we pretty much just gave him a doughnut (but it still produced a funny video). This year, since Wyatt is probably the most important kid who has a name that isn't a color or a plant or something, he's really had a birthweek instead of a birthday. Celebrations started on Friday with Cara's family (including the special little cousins).

Here's cousin Elsie with her pretty earrings, all ready to move in on Wyatt's present. It looks like ... is he getting a cuisinart?

   Festivities continued into Saturday, where my great friend and True American John took Wyatt and the cousins for a ride on his fire truck out at Camp Harlow.

Yes. Wyatt got to sit in John's lap and drive the firetruck, making Grant the best dad in the world and John the new favorite person in Wyatt's world. Yes, John kind of looks like Grant when they are both wearing the exact same shirt, but John is in his 30's so they are in super different stages of life.

Absolutely perfect.

   We were all set to go swimming at Amazon Pool. We'd fed the kids, changed them, and psyched them up for the slide, fountains and splashes at the pool. When we got there, however, it was closed because a pipe had burst. I really think this is code for "all the lifeguards were hungover," which is unsettling because they are like 16, but whatever. We were super depressed. Birthday ruined, right?! Wrong!! All-Around Hero and True American Grant said "Let's just go to the wave pool at Splash!" and the day was saved.

Wyatt's favorite thing at the pool is of course his dad. This is no surprise, because dad's the best. But his ACTUAL favorite thing is the slide. The whole way down, he laughs, smiles, says "oh whee fun" and then says "again?" before we even hit the water. It's such a blast.

   Wyatt was loving all the fun, attention, and presents, and a huge grin on all day. Cara and I gave him some little flashlights and a couple of cars. Whenever he gets a new car he says "Oh poop car!" because we give him cars when he goes poop, which is like twice a month. No, seriously.

   A few days later, we celebrated with my family.

Wyatt, Papa G, Ash and Kirk Beast. Wyatt's playing with the elevator that Ash and KB gave him

Wyatt, KB, Mama, Some Girl Who's Not Sure Why She's There, and Grmma. Uncle Bear was there too, but was offscreen playing with the lego set he gave to himself Wyatt.

   We're all sure blessed to have such great family around Wyatt. Wyatt's also blessed to have his birthday last for like six years. Wyatt and Mama get birthweeks instead of birthdays, and Dad gets a great birthhour.

   I will say, time hasn't "flown" over the last three years, and I don't think he's "grown up so fast," but already I can see that he's going to start really getting older fast. He's talking more, starting to fake read, like's to act things out in his imagination, and is learning new things all the time. He repeats whatever he hears and loves big kids. I think time is going to start flying now, so I'm going to try to hold on.

   I am sad that he's three, because things are free for kids that are under three at a lot of places. I wanted him to always say "twohalf" whenever he was asked his age. But alas, yesterday after successfully pooping in the toilet, he said "Dad! Two cars!! Two poop cars!! Wy not little boy, Wy big boy. Wy not twohalf Wy three." He then said "Hulk smash!" over and over.

   At least he's not yet too old to cuddle with his mama. He will be someday. I hope. Oh gosh what if he's always cuddling with his mama!?

My mood: happy and proud.
Wyatt's mood: will think it's his birthday every day, I fear.
Cara's feeling: like the little one in the belly is kicking too much and needs to nap more.

Auntie Ashley Got Married, so Wy Got Dressed Up!!

I don't know if you've heard the biggest news in Eugene, but Wyatt's auntie Ashley got married!! What a perfect opportunity to dress up all adorbs!! Hope you can handle this (but you probably can't).

Just after getting dressed at home and seeing how stinkin' cute today was going to be. Don't worry, the room is very clean in the background, no need to check.

Well, this is pretty fun.

The groom and groomsmen in the background. Kirk, Wyatt's new uncle (pronounced "Kowik") gave all his groomsmen and none of his brothers-in-laws sweet longboards as presents.

Strolling to a his business-school presentation in a half an hour.

He actually found this photo-shoot setting on his own...

... and promptly struck some model poses

Holy crap this kid is cute.

No big deal, just cruisin'.

Wy on a longboard while the wedding party preens for the camera. If only we had some video of his first time trying to longboard!

Here's some video of Wyatt's first time trying to longboard:

Look out, Tony Hawk!! It's crazy that I have to mention you because no one know any other skateboarders except for maybe Kirk he might know a couple.

My mood: proud of my genes!
Wyatt's mood: working on that balance.
Listening to: Neil Diamond

Here's A Bunch Of Pictures!!

(true story: almost all of these pictures were taken by people other than Cara and me)

"Don't mess with me. You don't want to know what's in my shirt."

Wy loves auntie Ashley!!

Auntie Ashley loves Wy too!!

I... I don't know who this is.

No seriously who is this person!? Do you know!? Can you tell me please!?

Best Christmas Present Ever!!

   Okay, ladies and gentlemen. I am going to clue you in on how to make the best birthday present for a baby imaginable. I mean, it's crazy good. Apparently, bettering your lives through explanations of things you should already know how to do is my thing these days. Just like before, you only need to follow the easy steps I lay out in front of you and instant status as "favorite ________" will be earned (You can fill in the blank with "uncle" or "cousin" or "stalker" or whatever).

Fair warning: If you are facebook friends with my mom, then you will have seen all this stuff like five times already. If you are not facebook friends with my mom, then you are missing out on having your grammar corrected on your status updates, and at least one message per week saying something like "You can't make fun of boys named Benedict I have a cousin in Des Moines whose son's name is Benedict and she won't like it." It's ironic because her grammar is bad in those messages, I know.

1)   Have some really nice photos taken by someone who takes really nice photos (in our case it was Kaela Mae). Like this:

I honestly just picked one at random from the CD our photographer gave us. So, yeah.

2)   Put those photos on facebook for anyone and everyone to see, copy, steal, use, and fawn over.

3)   Have an extremely artistic and clever sister in your family.

4)   Have that sister do this:

That's right, she got Wyatt a book for Christmas. A book that she made.

Christmas #2!!

   Oh gosh is there anything cuter than a matching dad and baby?! I wish we had a tie for the little guy, but I feel like that's probably illegal or dangerous or something. Know that we were both wearing cords and brown shoes, so we were the definition of "precious."
   Also, know that Cara looked pretty too but wasn't really matching the rest of us boys, and know that my nose looks very pointy and my arms very pale.

   Christmas!! The boy is still a bit too young to really know that Christmas means presents, despite getting lots of them this year, but we did take the time to tell him the story of Jesus today. Cara did the talking:
   Jesus was born in a manger and there were sheep and poop everywhere, and then he was left at the temple but that was okay and then he got some disciples and made some bread.
   Way to go, mom!!

   We went to church on Christmas Eve, and Cara and I helped watch all the toddlers and babies. Don't get the impression that we are wonderful people, please, because we just wanted to get out of sitting through the service in "big church." I learned something shocking while in the nursery:

   Wyatt's a bully.

   It's true!! He walks up to kids and takes their toys, he demands to be held by Cara or I when we are holding or playing with anyone else, and I think I saw him take protection money from Autumn as well. How did this happen!! It's society's fault. It must be, because Cara and I and mostly me are doing everything we can to raise a good kid! It's all those bad tv shows and music that he's exposed to. We need to take it all down!! It's the only solution!! Stop exposing my kid to these things that I have no control over!!

   But on Christmas morning, while opening presents, Wyatt had a lot of fun with his brand new baby Ipad!!:

   That positive reinforcement we've been trying has really paid off. He expects applause whenever he does the littlest thing!! This can only be a good thing as he gets older, I'm sure.

   How do I know that Wyatt is a super advance baby!? Because all of the presents he got were for kids 3+ (or older)!! Look at this!

LEGOs ages 5 - 27 12

LEGOs ages 4+ (it feels like I am yelling LEGOS!!! at everyone, which is weird, but that's how it's spelled!)

Pokemon Cards ages 8+

   plus a MagnaDoodle and some other LEGOs and a knife from his creepy uncle. Now, I know what you're thinking "Come on Grant, obviously all of those presents were for you and not the baby..." No! You're wrong! Leave me alone!!

   Merry Christmas everyone!!

   My mood: festive and jolly
   Wyatt's mood:  center of attention forever!!!
   Listening to: Wyatt's Grandpa's Christmas music

Mandatory Halloween Post!!

Wyatt's first Halloween, 2011. Sheesh, I think we've all forgotten how cute that baby was.

   We really blew it last year, and we know it. It's like, next thing we knew it was halloween and we didn't have a costume ready for Wyatt at all. We had thought about turning the baby into an adorable little crayon, but we dropped the ball. It was embarrassing and Cara was appropriately ashamed. I scrambled and we had that photo you see above, trying to be all artsy-fartsy and clever, but we weren't fooling anyone.
   Not this year. This year we came prepared. After having all the fun and set-up of Wyatt's Zelda themed-birthday party, just getting a bit of a costume to parade about town was as easy as a college girl dressed as a "bunny."

   In sticking with our general Wyatt looks like any blond character philosophy, we decided to dress him up as Calvin. We tracked down an appropriate enough hobbes, a red wagon, and pulled our transmogrifier out of the attic (cause we hadn't used it in years). I think it was a success!

   So what'd we do next!? Go visit people and show them how clever we were!!

   We saw grandpa:

   Grandma came out and played too. We went for a walk down to Joel and Nikki's house to meet their new baby girl, (who is doomed to have a crush on Wyatt forever), saw auntie Ashley and a few other friends too! Wyatt loved playing in his wagon and squeezing his tiger, and people could not stop commenting on how good I looked in my costume. ("what, this old thing?!" was my well rehearsed reply whenever someone said "you look like a movie star" or something similar).

   How can we top these wonderful birthday parties and costumes!? I really don't think we can. I think we've peaked. It's a shame, but it's good to know when to walk away. So next year, we'll dress wyatt up as a "cowboy" by purchasing a stupid, cheap costume at Toys R Us, and that'll be that. 

My mood: tired

Wyatt's mood: tire

Listening to: Everybody Talks by the Neon Trees

Wyatt's First Birthday Party!! Wahoo!!

   What a great day!! Cara and I wanted to throw a fun little party for Wyatt's first birthday. By now you've probably seen the infamous moment that came out of the party, but there's still more great stuff!! We chose the theme "The Legend of Zelda." Now, people seem to question using the word "we" in that last line. I can honestly say she was the one that pitched it, and I was the one that ran with it. Since you probably don't know, and jokes are funniest when they have to be explained to everyone at the party, "Link" is the main character, the one pictured above (image found at zeldapedia, which is of course a real website). Link is trying to save Princess Zelda. 

   Cara had a lot of fun making his little tunic and his cute little hat. We even toyed with the idea of giving him little elf ears, but, really, he already has them (you're welcome, Wyatt!!) But, did you know that there are lots of things about The Legend of Zelda that translate really well to a birthday party!? Of course you didn't! You've never played the game, just like how none of the people that were actually at the party had played the game, save for my brother!! So, I'll explain everything in excruciatingly precise, embarrassing detail like I did to them, and you'll love it!

The Coast!!

   What's the first thing you do when you get a new minivan? Take it to the beach!! If you said "get insurance" you're right and I'll get right on that, but we threw caution to the wind and decided to head west to end of the continent. So we loaded up the new car, and boy did it have space!

Baby's first trip in the van! This is interesting, okay!!

   We had room for baby, mommy, daddy, auntie, uncle and all of the food and gear we could possibly need!! Minivans are the best!! This one even has a cd player!! Exclamation points!! We took the quick drive to the coast, listening to an old mix-cd I found. (Seriously, do you know where your cds are? No, you don't, because you don't listen to them anymore! Also serious: I would love to have your cds for my car.)

   Here in Oregon we don't actually call it "the beach," because, well, that'd be a lie. The water is too cold to swim in for long, the wind blows hard (and cold), and the sun is rarely out in force. It's not a place to go get tan, meet babes or surf without a wetsuit. In fact, the babies resorted to this shelter Garrett and I had to build:

Shelter from the wind. It's like we're in Iraq or something,

We put up a sheet to try and shield Cara, Auntie Ashley
and Baby Wallet (AKA "the babies") from the harsh wind.

   Yep!! Sunglasses, sunscreen, sweatpants and jackets make for a typical August day on the Oregon Coast.  Just so you know, it looked like this for a long time:

I wonder if we'll see any celebrities!?

   I even forgot to bring anything warm whatsoever!! I guess I was just too preoccupied providing for and protecting my family. So I was just in my sandals, t-shirt and shorts, like a sucker. After about 45 minutes of this we gave up. As we were leaving our prized shelter, we saw other groups of people trying desperately to have fun: Two guys throwing a football that veered in weird directions because of the wind, a young family hiding in the tall grass from the galeforce winds, a sad child failing to fly his kite, someone chasing an errant frisbee for miles. It just made you want to give everyone a hug! I wanted to yell "We tried, everyone!! Maybe next time!?"

   Luckily our town on the coast, Florence, has lots of little lakes, great state parks and enormous sand dunes. So we went to Honeymon Park, laid in the sand and got warm.

Wyatt doing his army crawl, in keeping with our Desert Storm Trooper theme. 

   Guess what?! Wy loves the sand. He can't get enough of it, and not just in his mouth! He loved playing and crawling and trying to walk and throwing sand and burying my no-longer-function cell phone! When we put him on the ground on the sand dune, he crawled/rolled down several feet, just giggling!!

   He loves the water too!! The lakes on the coast are very warm and comfy, so they're easy to splash in. What a great time was had by all!! This is the most interesting thing you could have read today!!

My mood: adventurous but tired from all of the adventuring!!
Wy's mood: excited for new experiences!!
Listening to: Prom Mix 2003