Three!!

THIS. CUPCAKE. IS GETTING. MASSACRED.

   My special little kid just turned three years old, everyone!! This is huge news and will have a great impact on your day because of the importance that my child holds in the world!! I can already imagine how you are planning on incorporating this information into your plans for the near future!!

   You've seen how we really did up his first birthday, as well as the absolutely wonderful video that came with it. Then, last year we pretty much just gave him a doughnut (but it still produced a funny video). This year, since Wyatt is probably the most important kid who has a name that isn't a color or a plant or something, he's really had a birthweek instead of a birthday. Celebrations started on Friday with Cara's family (including the special little cousins).

Here's cousin Elsie with her pretty earrings, all ready to move in on Wyatt's present. It looks like ... is he getting a cuisinart?

   Festivities continued into Saturday, where my great friend and True American John took Wyatt and the cousins for a ride on his fire truck out at Camp Harlow.

Yes. Wyatt got to sit in John's lap and drive the firetruck, making Grant the best dad in the world and John the new favorite person in Wyatt's world. Yes, John kind of looks like Grant when they are both wearing the exact same shirt, but John is in his 30's so they are in super different stages of life.

Absolutely perfect.

   We were all set to go swimming at Amazon Pool. We'd fed the kids, changed them, and psyched them up for the slide, fountains and splashes at the pool. When we got there, however, it was closed because a pipe had burst. I really think this is code for "all the lifeguards were hungover," which is unsettling because they are like 16, but whatever. We were super depressed. Birthday ruined, right?! Wrong!! All-Around Hero and True American Grant said "Let's just go to the wave pool at Splash!" and the day was saved.

Wyatt's favorite thing at the pool is of course his dad. This is no surprise, because dad's the best. But his ACTUAL favorite thing is the slide. The whole way down, he laughs, smiles, says "oh whee fun" and then says "again?" before we even hit the water. It's such a blast.

   Wyatt was loving all the fun, attention, and presents, and a huge grin on all day. Cara and I gave him some little flashlights and a couple of cars. Whenever he gets a new car he says "Oh poop car!" because we give him cars when he goes poop, which is like twice a month. No, seriously.

   A few days later, we celebrated with my family.

Wyatt, Papa G, Ash and Kirk Beast. Wyatt's playing with the elevator that Ash and KB gave him

Wyatt, KB, Mama, Some Girl Who's Not Sure Why She's There, and Grmma. Uncle Bear was there too, but was offscreen playing with the lego set he gave to himself Wyatt.

   We're all sure blessed to have such great family around Wyatt. Wyatt's also blessed to have his birthday last for like six years. Wyatt and Mama get birthweeks instead of birthdays, and Dad gets a great birthhour.

   I will say, time hasn't "flown" over the last three years, and I don't think he's "grown up so fast," but already I can see that he's going to start really getting older fast. He's talking more, starting to fake read, like's to act things out in his imagination, and is learning new things all the time. He repeats whatever he hears and loves big kids. I think time is going to start flying now, so I'm going to try to hold on.

   I am sad that he's three, because things are free for kids that are under three at a lot of places. I wanted him to always say "twohalf" whenever he was asked his age. But alas, yesterday after successfully pooping in the toilet, he said "Dad! Two cars!! Two poop cars!! Wy not little boy, Wy big boy. Wy not twohalf Wy three." He then said "Hulk smash!" over and over.

   At least he's not yet too old to cuddle with his mama. He will be someday. I hope. Oh gosh what if he's always cuddling with his mama!?

My mood: happy and proud.
Wyatt's mood: will think it's his birthday every day, I fear.
Cara's feeling: like the little one in the belly is kicking too much and needs to nap more.

Wyatt's First Birthday Party!! Wahoo!!

   What a great day!! Cara and I wanted to throw a fun little party for Wyatt's first birthday. By now you've probably seen the infamous moment that came out of the party, but there's still more great stuff!! We chose the theme "The Legend of Zelda." Now, people seem to question using the word "we" in that last line. I can honestly say she was the one that pitched it, and I was the one that ran with it. Since you probably don't know, and jokes are funniest when they have to be explained to everyone at the party, "Link" is the main character, the one pictured above (image found at zeldapedia, which is of course a real website). Link is trying to save Princess Zelda. 

   Cara had a lot of fun making his little tunic and his cute little hat. We even toyed with the idea of giving him little elf ears, but, really, he already has them (you're welcome, Wyatt!!) But, did you know that there are lots of things about The Legend of Zelda that translate really well to a birthday party!? Of course you didn't! You've never played the game, just like how none of the people that were actually at the party had played the game, save for my brother!! So, I'll explain everything in excruciatingly precise, embarrassing detail like I did to them, and you'll love it!

Dodged A Bullet!!

(note: In case you aren't clear on this point: I'M NOT SERIOUS!!! LIKE, HARDLY EVER AM I BEING SERIOUS AND THIS IS A KEY EXAMPLE!!) 

Okay, I think we're in the clear. I feel safe to talk about this now that I don't think I can jinx it.

   I am so glad that Wyatt isn't a redhead.

*whew!* Not a lot of red in there!!

   Cara has kinda-red hair. It's not really red, and not as red as it was when she was younger, but it's there. I looooove redheaded girls (and thus felt a bit betrayed when I learned she was coloring her hair back when we started dating), but I just can't stand redheaded boys. I mean, can anyone? I think we're all in the same boat on this. Let's do a comparison:

My wife as a child holding up her little brother, Kip. Notice how
adorable she is and what a little punk he obviously must be.

   Red Headed Girls: sweet
   Red Headed Boys: the worst

   Red Headed Girls: cute
   Red Headed Boys: unathletic and awkward

   Red Headed Girls: charming
   Red Headed Boys: usually little brats

   Red Headed Girls: rare
   Red Headed Boys: need to be pushed further towards extinction.


   With Wy it was touch and go for a while there. He has a bit of red in his hair, but he is unequivocally blond at this point. For this I am thankful. If he ever does morph into a redhead, I will still love him almost as much, but it will be a challenge. My patience with him will be so much shorter, because whenever he does anything bratty I'll think "He's going to be this way forever because of that stupid hair," whereas when he behaves in a snotty manner with his hair this color, I'll just think it's cute and that he's entitled to it.
   Think about it. Do you know any redheaded boys that you are fond of?