Big House Project!!

   We lost a beloved member of our household last winter. Our 20+ year old pellet stove, that we'd been using for 20+ months finally died. Its burn pot cracked beyond repair. After much weeping and introspection, I hauled it out to the garage, and started to look for a replacement.

When you walked into our house, there was kind of this shrine to the ancient pellet stove. As it should be.

   The Wife really wanted a gas fireplace instead of another pellet stove. The Man Of The House wanted more of that hot, dry heat that the wood burning stove provided. After a long, thorough, spirited discussion, The Wife won. So not only did I have to get a new fireplace, I had a project to do.

   I've done little projects around the house. Flooring in the kitchen and bathrooms, building planter boxes in the yard, mounting a TV and hiding the cords in the wall, and helping Wyatt draw on the walls. These are all pretty simple and just require following some basic instructions. The project I had before me was a whole new beast. Luckily, it required cutting lots and lots of wood with fun saws.

He really wanted to play in the sawdust. For some reason, he really wanted his shirt off, too.

Mission Accomplished.

Now let's see how this sawdust tastes!

Ahh!!! Dad's running a saw!! I need to shut my eyes to completely keep the sound out!!

Oh good, dad's done. Dad's the best.

   The above pictures remind me of one of my favorite Wyatt moments ever. Whenever I was about to run a saw, I'd let him know and he'd try to hide from the noise. A couple times, as I was ready to turn the loud suckers on, I'd warn him and he'd run to a box of pellets and bury his head in them. He'd hide his head in the pellets until I was done cutting, then go about playing. This happened three times. I never got a picture of him ostriching, but sheesh it was cute.

   Speaking of "Sheesh that's cute," here's some videos of Wyatt helping us build, starting with his paint job:

   Here he does some critical measurements, and you get a good look at daddy's tramp-stamp (which - I'm pretty sure that's why you are here in the first place). Hurry! Watch it before my wife makes me take it down!

   Wyatt measuring things is really no surprise. This was taken back when he was just learning to walk (so, I don't know, he was maybe 9 days old?). It's from an early blog post, but I've gained like 8 new readers since then (up to 15!), so I'll share it again:

What a stud. Also, this picture was taken with what appears to be one of those cameras you make in a high school Intro To Photography class.

   And here's Wyatt working with Papa G.

   With all the construction and finish work done, it looks like this:

This isn't a DIY blog, so don't expect a bunch of perfect pictures of clean houses, okay. We still need to paint it, and by "we" I of course mean "not me." Painting is hard.

   If you look closely, you can see that the inner, decorative walls are falling over. We can't get them to stay up. I've tried Silly Putty and gum and even a whole roll of Scotch tape, but nothing works!! You'll notice we wasted absolutely no time cluttering that mantle shelf. And we still need to find the right picture to place in the white space above,. Probably an oil painting of me with my chin resting on my fist. That I'll paint myself. I'll be looking right at you as you come in to my house. Saying "I'm here and this is kind of creepy, so check yourself."

   I couldn't have done this project without my dad doing some last-minute electrical and wood cutting heroics, Cara's dad helping with all sorts of little things, and all the tools that both of those men have given me over the years or loaned me for this project. Thanks so much. I also couldn't have done it without Cara screaming at me "If you don't get this done I will throw all of your Nintendoses in the lake!" It was too bad that her pronunciation of "Nintendos" as "Nintendozzes" kind of ruined her moment, but she had a point. Although, in my defense, summers are for napping or playing and nothing more.

My mood: proud and relieved and also kinda gassy
Wyatt's mood: wanting me to play with him ALL THE TIME
Cara's mood: got bit by a spider, so, she's about ready to call the National Guard on our drive to the hospital.
Listening to: Sam Cooke

New Skills!!

   Wyatt has been doing all kinds of fun new things lately. He still loves his walks and his cars and playing at the park and renaming all my files on the computer to "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasd", that hasn't changed, but this stuff is going on too:

   He's doing that fake-reading thing. Nick Miller once said "I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words," and that's where we find our hero in this adorable little video:

   Ohmygosh that's adorable. Probably the cutest thing you've seen in days, right? Well, he also went to the dentist for the first time!! Since I am a great dad I don't miss important firsts like this, so I can tell you all about it.

Hanging out. Like a boss. You know how they say you are never more than eight feet from a spider? First: Gross. Second: Wyatt's never more than two feet from a car.

   We walked into the dentist's office at 6:00am and went up to the desk and said "Here we are!" and the dentist behind the desk was like "whoa okay great let's get right to it!" and Wyatt sat down in the chair and the dentist checked his ears and took his heartbeat and then brushed his teeth and then brushed Wyatt's teeth and gave him a shot of fluoride in the shoulder and wyatt didn't even cry! and then the dentist put on his dinosaur costume and made the "rawrr!" sound and Wyatt just loved that. Soon another dentist came in and was all "these are the best teeth I have ever seen on a kid." and I said "Well we brush them every week!" which probably isn't true and then they gave us our little ice-pick-for-your-teeth like they give everyone and OKAY FINE YOU CAUGHT ME I WASN'T THERE. YOU HAPPY!? I MISSED WYATT'S FIRST DENTIST APPOINTMENT BECAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY AT MY JOB WORKING FOR THE MAN. IT LOOKS LIKE I WILL NOT WIN "FATHER OF THE YEAR THIS YEAR" AND NOW I'LL NEVER HAVE A STORY TO SHARE ABOUT WY'S FIRST DENTIST TRIP. WHEN ALL THE OTHER DAD'S ARE LIKE "OH LITTLE AEDEN WAS SO BRAVE" OR WHATEVER I'LL JUST HAVE TO TRY AND MAKE SOMETHING UP AND WE CAN ALREADY SEE I AM NOT GOOD AT THAT AND I'LL PROBABLY JUST START YELLING LIKE I AM RIGHT NOW.

   So, yeah, Cara took him to the dentist. And Cara is the one he reads with. And Cara feeds him and does art projects with him. Great, Cara, we get it. You'll probably get a nomination for "Mother of the Month This Month" or something and we are all impressed. The worst part is, while she is collecting trophies, I still can't even get nominated for a "Best Mommy Blogger" award that I am sure is a real thing. They keep telling me I "don't have the right equipment to be a mommy blogger," and I'm like "what do I need an iPhone 4 or something?" Then they say "Grantina isn't even a real name - much less a girl's name - please leave us alone!"

   What else... what else. Oh, he loves to look for things he can't find, and walk around in circles saying "Oh no we went in a circle!!" Watch this boring video:

   There's one other skill that Wyatt has learned. For some unknown reason, Cara taught Wyatt to scream all his favorite noises in my face to wake me from my peaceful sleeps. It's the worst game ever, and yet it probably only endears her even more to the anti-dad voters on the board of Mom Of The Month This Month. Look:

 
   So there you go. That's my life, now. Getting screamed at and stepped on whenever I try to sleep at the wrong time, or in the wrong place. Now you know why I sleep during church. Or when I am driving. Or at work.

My mood: underappreciated and overworked!!
Wy's mood: don't let dad sleep!!
Cara's feeling: sore and cranky
Listening to: Red Hot Chili Peppers

Just The Cutest Little Prayers!!

   We've been praying with Wyatt at night as we go to bed. We don't really pray before our meals because we don't really have meals as much as we have a grazing system. Sometimes Wyatt repeats what we pray, sometimes he just sits, but he loves holding hands and cuddling. Here's the best video we have:

   He likes to translate things into his own language. If I pray for a good night's sleep, he says "night night," and if I thank God for mom he says "thank mom!"

   Here's the worst video we have:

   The other night, we actually got him to pray on his own. It went like this: "Dear God. Night night. Thx mom. Thx dad. Thx papa mama. Thx weem wy. Thx choo choo. Thx choo choo track. Thx dump truck. Thx water truck. Thx trash truck. Thx car. Thx wee car. Thx faith. Thx granmama." Just like we taught him. It's like how I pray "Thanks God for my Nintendo Wii, and my DS and my old Super Nintendo and my old Gameboy and also for my frisbees and for netflix and for bikes and for The Wire and for Arrested Development."

   Odds are pretty good this is about as cute as it will get. Pretty soon he'll be enunciating and using whole sentences, sadly, so I'm glad I have just a little bit of video here to remember.

My mood: Nostalgic
Wy's mood: Car racing.
Cara's Doing: Hungry
Listening To: U2

Wyatt Loves The Ocean!!

He's saying "Come on, let's go play in the water!" We'd just played in the water for like an hour.

   Oh man you guys, I had no idea. I mean, we've been to the beach before, as you've seen a couple of times, but never before had Wyatt been so in love with anything. Like, ever.

   On our trip to Santa Barbara, among other places, we spent half the day at the beach. Once Wyatt realized that you could be in the water for 15 seconds and still feel your toes, he realized that the water in California is more fun than the water in Oregon. And he never wanted to leave.

He would've run straight in, as far as he could, if we'd let him.

His face was like this the whole time. Look at that cute little face!!

Just some boring sand time with no water that he frickin' adored.

Oh yeah Cara was there too. We decided to all wear collared, blue shirts.

   He laughed so hard and smiled so big the whole time!! I bet his jaw hurt!! And the whole time he was thinking "What great parents I have to bring me here and let me play!!" Because we really are great parents. I mean, just watch this video of him rolling down the teenie-tiny sand dune:

   That probably happened 15 times total. All of this sand climbing and rolling, ocean chasing and laughing is probably what lead to him falling asleep as he kept playing.

   Okokok you get it, this was great and he had fun and everyone was happy. Can we talk about something else now? Like, elephant seals?

      Cara and I were laughing so hard because that scene reminded us of our bedtime ritual.

My mood: can't sleep
Wyatt's mood can't sleep just long enough to keep me from sleeping.

Perfect Day!!

Let's go daddy!!

   I had no idea that having a kid could let me have this much fun so soon! For so long, it was just walks and boring books and changing diapers and feeding and scheming for ways to get Cara to do everything. Now, though, now there is exploring and learning and growing and diapers (yeah that one's still there).

   In high school, my buddy Jered-with-two-e's and I spent countless summer days doing the same few things: eating cereal, playing video games, biking to the fountain, floating the river, swimming at camp Harlow, going to a thrift store and turning down the ladies left and right. It was a problem. Like, "Girls! I want to get to know you for who you are, and I refuse to date more than one of you at a time!" We had several perfect days that involved all of those things.

Well, guess what Wyatt and I did today...

Bike to the river?! Check.

I know you are thinking "Where on earth is his life jacket!?" It's okay, crazy person! It's one of those invisible ones that you can't see but totally works.

Bike to the Fountain?! Check.

(he never actually got in the fountain, just got his feet and hands any my phone wet. Baby steps. Is that cliche? I think that's cliche. Get over it.)

Cereal?! Check (not pictured)

Thrift Store?! No. (not pictured)

Beating off ladies?! Yes. But it's not the same. Before, it was cheerleaders and soccer players and girls that were clearly in college. Now it's moms and grandmas, and they know that Wy's just the cutest! and the best! and what a big boy! and lookatthoscutelittlecheeks...! Come on ladies!! I'm getting sick of this!! I thought I got that point across in highschool! I need some space!!

We also played in the park.

He even fell in the water twice!! From the edge, he just got his bum wet, so don't freak out on me. You tend to do that.

By the end of the day he was tired, a little sun burnt and super happy.

I took this picture while riding my bike. Kidding!! No I'm not!! I actually did!!

We had a great day and lots of fun. Someone should make a children's book out of it. Looking at you, Sean. Best part of all? He slept great.

My mood: tired, drained, but super content
Wyatt's mood: tired, drained, ready for more tomorrow
Listening to: Pumped Up Kicks

Seriously Embarrassing Video!!

This picture really captures the theme of this post, as you will see...

   Okay, let's get this over with. We have a video of Wyatt being super happy and laughing and at his best, but unfortunately it involves me looking like complete garbage. I mean, really, I haven't even watched this video myself I find it so painful. Still, I am  So, I'm begging you, I once was tan and fit and even had some muscles of some sort. Please remember that I once looked like this:

Me after a good tan, a couple years ago.

   I need you to remember this because in the upcoming video, I am shirtless, ab-less, definition-less, and posture-less. There once was a time in my life where I could sit with poor posture and not have my stomach bubble up onto itself. There once was a time in my life when not wearing a shirt was not confined only to the safety of my own house. There once was a time I had only one chin.

   Really, I feel the need to write all this just so the image of the video is way down the page, so you have to scroll if you want to see it and can't say I didn't warn you. Here, let's waste some more real estate first:

   Okay!! Blurry photo!! I don't think I can waste any more time. If you want to see this killer video, um... it's after the break... But don't feel like you have to! I kind of hope this post gets like no hits whatsoever!

Fine Motor Skills!!

Disaster imminent: There was an open applesauce on the corner of the table. Wyatt saw it, wanted it, and could reach it. He went for it. I was powerless to do anything about because I was watching Parks and Rec online and Andy was going off on Chris about how Chris stole April from Andy because Andy was dead but he wasn't. It was comedy gold. I can't just leave that. But then I did. I ran over to the baby and the table and what did I see?

   Oh, no big deal. He only set it down on the mat (not the carpet), walked over to grab a spoon, and then fed himself with the spoon!! Yeah, he was 15 months old at the time (he's now 16 months old). I don't know if there's ever been a more coordinated 15-month-year-old in the history of Eugene Oregon 97401, but if there has then that kid must've been a genius.
   He can actually scoop up ice-cream organic yogurt into his spoon and feed himself without making a mess all over the table. Now, his shirt and his face are a disaster, but he's doing good. In fact, he can feed it to me as well.

   Makes you wonder, what else can this kid do?

   Somewhere along the line, Wyatt learned to pretend-snore. We don't know where. The only snorer in our family is his grandpa, but we've never pretended to sleep by snoring. Still, he'll do this (watch him, not me):

   Sheesh that's cute. Also, my arms looked super buff there (because they are).

My mood: I feel like I've been neglecting you AND my child instead of just my child. Sorry everyone.
Wyatt's mood: Spider bit!
Listening to: the pellet stove roar

Belly Button!!

   Sometime's the baby is just super happy. Not when he's unable to poop, or has a new tooth coming in, or whenever mom won't let dad watch football all weekend. These are things that keep him from being super happy. In general, he's a really happy baby, but if you want to make him super happy, you show him your belly button. Or you let him find it.

   We have more videos chronicling the ecstasy he feels when he discovers a new belly button, but this one was the most SFW. We think his fascination with that odd little hole in the abdomen comes from the fact that whenever we see his, Cara and I tickle it and scream "Belly button!" and have a rip-roaring good time. But I'd like to imagine he saw this without me knowing:

   But really, that's impossible. The only way he'd know about that song is if he was around one of the dozen-or-so times I've watched it in the last week. 

   If Wyatt attempts to reach up your shirt while you are holding him - or if I do - just know that we are only looking for your belly button. It's harmless fun. We will then exclaim that we found another one, poke our fingers in there, wiggle them around and laugh hysterically, so it's nothing to be alarmed about. Perfectly common and healthy behavior.

My mood: stomach hurts from laughing

Wy's mood: stomach hurts from that old milk I gave him

Listening to: Barbara Manatee

What's Down There?

   I don't know why my precious little angel does this, but when I am holding him he loves to reach up my sleeves or down my collar. It's pretty odd and pretty cute.

   Almost every time I hold him, something like this happens. I wonder at what age we have to tell him to not reach down people's shirts?! I think I'll wait to kill the habit until he's like 17. He'll thank me.

My mood: exposed
Wyatt's mood: bored with the same old house.
Listening to: Train

Bearded Daddy!!

   Oh gosh, want to know how to make Wyatt giggle? Let's just dispense with all the pleasantries and not-that-funny-text and get to the good stuff:

   Beards!! All you need is a good beard to rub his hands along. I think all dads enjoy rubbing their beards into their kids and seeing the startled, annoyed, pained expressions that come from it. I guess this makes me a dad! Finally, a landmark of some sort. Let's watch another:

   I shave about once a week or so. I can't commit to a specific facial-hair look, because I just look so good throughout the first three phases: clean shaven, five-o'clock-shadow, and movie-star beard. I really can't miss. Let me show you how good I can look with a picture or two:

Embarassing Moments!!

   Wow. I try my best. I really do. Feeding and changing and clothing and everything that goes with having a baby.

   So imagine my heartbreak when my dad, Wyatt's grandpa, films me as I feed Wyatt. "That's fun!" I innocently thought, "just getting some footage of dad feeding baby while he chomps down on some nutritious "Chicken Dinner" from a jar. My dad even has a slight grin on his face throughout the filming, as I talk to Wyatt and get the job done. Boy was I wrong.
   Only later, as the whole entire family is laughing at me do I realize his ulterior motives.

   My dad: You do something that you don't know you do. Watch:

   Did you catch it? Of course you did, you're a jerk just like everybody else. So I guess I open and close my own mouth with Wyatt's while feeding him. How hilarious! Let's bring that up every family reunion, why not!?
   It wouldn't be so funny if I was facing Wyatt while feeding him, like I usually am. It makes perfect sense that I'd try to mime the motions he should take! But no, let's ignore the logic and continue to mock me as I care for a life.

   Then he showed me the longer one.

   Thanks guys! You're the best!!


   My mood: humiliated
   Grandpa's mood: triumphant
   Wyatt's mood: happy happy fun time!
   Listening to: hammock mix

Guess What Wyatt Can Do!?

You'll never guess, so I'll just show you:

   No, I mean, here it is:

   Dang it Wyatt, you do it all the time! You're like that singing frog from Looney Tunes (which makes me the fat guy with facial hair!). One more:

    He can stand!! He only does it for a few seconds at a time, and isn't trying steps yet, but he's not too far from walking, then running, then winning the world series!! All because of me! I bet he's standing up on his own faster than ANY BABY EVER, and I don't want to hear you say "my nephew was walking when he was just seven months old" because no one believes you, Carol!!

   If you read my previous blog post, you'll note that very rarely is he wearing clothes. Also, as soon as he puts on his shirt (okay, fine, I put on his shirt), he can stand. You might think there is some significance to this. There is not.

My mood: excited for my baby who is the best and probably because of what a great dad I am and what great genes I gave him!
Wyatt's mood: just wants to play!
Listening to: definitely not Adele right now, because that would be like four straight hours of Adele and what self-respecting man does that?!