The Truth Comes Out!!

"Well, I'm tired, but I'm sick of laying down."

   It's about 1:30 am. I am crawling in bed. Cara is asleep. She's a bit of a sleep-talker, though she hasn't said much in a long time. When we first got married she would have the most interesting conversations. I'll share one later, but, let me set the scene for this recent sleep-talking adventure first: It's about 1:30 am, I am crawling in bed and Cara is asleep.

Cara: Who are you?
Me: It's Grant.
...
...
Me: Wait, why do you have to ask?
Cara: Just making sure. I always do.
...
...
Me: No you don't.
Cara: Shh.

   I did not sleep well that night. I've always suspected. But now, well, now I am sure. She wishes she'd married someone else. It's gotten to the point she's dreaming about someone else. It's the only explanation. I've blogged about her sleep-talking before, and it's been going on for a long time. Like this one, years ago, when she had another sleep confession.

September 23, 2007:


Cara: Hey I need you to come here. I need you to start the program
Me: Huh?
I need the program, and you need to start it
What program?
The saw program?
The what program?
I counted the pills and gave them to the lady
Oh. How many pills were there?
Ninety
And who did you give them to?
Some guy
Who was he?
Bill
Who’s tha—
Bill takes the clothes
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
So who is your favorite?
You are
Who is your second favorite?
You are
Who is your tenth favorite?
Bill
And who is he?
He doesn’t live here
Where does he live?
Willamette
Aahhh- Willamette

   Bill!! Is that who Cara was expecting to crawl into bed?! I've always suspected that. I'm just surprised she hasn't talked about Travis yet. Travis. I hate that guy and his lack of chest hair.

   Whoa!! I just realized something. That little sleep conversation above took place on September 23, 2007. (I know the date because whenever Cara says something worth remembering, I wake up, run to the computer and email the transcript to her old roommate, who has some fun Cara-sleeptalking stories of her own). September 23rd is Wyatt's birthday! If instead of Wyatt we'd named him Bill, he could take the clothes and live in Willamette and Cara could be some sort of prophet. I mean, prophetess. A lady prophet. Like a lioness but for the future.

My mood: groggy and confused
Cara's mood: ashamed she's been found out!
Wyatt's mood: oblivious to his parents turmoil
Listening to: Mariah Carey Christmas

My Wife Is The Best!!

This photo really has nothing to do with the following text.

   So it's 3:00. In the morning. My wife says to me "Go grab the baby." Her saying this wakes me up and, pretty much without thinking, I get up and start meandering to the baby's room. I didn't hear him cry or anything, but she usually is more sensitive to his crying at night. I've taken one step from the bed and she says something like "look out for the cleaner."
   Look out for the cleaner? I guess that makes sense. We'd rented a carpet cleaner that day and it was still in the house. Maybe there was something in the way? I don't know. Still, it's weird that Wyatt would need me so early in the morning, he'd been sleeping through the night lately. Something wasn't right.
   You know how, when you've just woken up and are all groggy, you can think like a million half-thoughts between each step? You have thoughts about your bearings and surroundings all while trying to decipher if the dreams you had were dreams or not? I was right there. Something wasn't right, but I wasn't yet awake enough to figure out what it was.
   Then she says, still laying in bed, "Make sure he gets through customs."


   ...


   Make sure he gets through customs?


   ...


   What? Ohgoshdangit she's asleep.


   SHE WOKE ME UP TO CHECK ON THE BABY IN HER SLEEP!!


   I promptly turned around and crawled back in bed, chuckling to myself while annoyed. I was starting to wake up and figured Cara must be dreaming she's on the run. Probably with Travis - you know, the one that got away. She and Travis and the baby were making their escape, looking out for the cleaning lady while trying to slip by customs. "Go grab the baby. Watch out for the cleaner. Make sure he gets through customs." It all makes sense. It all makes me sick.


   Sleep talking is one of Cara's more endearing traits. She did it quite often in our first couple years of marriage. Whenever she said something entertaining I would promptly go to the computer and write down whatever she said, so that I'd remember it the next morning. Then I'd usually email them to her old roommate, who also has great stories of Cara sleep talking. I have five recorded stories, but I don't want to write them all down right here, so I'll just share one encounter I had with sleeping Cara. Her words are regular, mine are in italics: