Boy or Girl Announcement!!

Alright, little man! Today we tell everyone if you're going to be a big brother or a big sister! Crazy how that works!

   Here's the deal: we know if we're having a boy or a girl!! This is super exciting and the tension is building!! How long can I keep typing before I reveal!? We just learned today! THIS IS SO FUN!!

   Actually, I've already talked about how much pressure there is to be all fancy and cute with these types of reveals. You need clever pictures if you are going to tell the world you're pregnant. You need colored cake to tell the world if you're having a boy or a girl. You need a special dance when you find out you're not the father on an episode of Maury.

Have you heard about this new trend? People have parties to announce the gender. The parents have someone else find out and bake a cake with blue or pink frosting on the inside. You cut it open to find out, and then realize how incredibly self involved you are!! Cara and I are planning on doing this, because it seems like a good scam to get presents. We'll have a "gender shower" where everyone brings two presents, one for a baby girl and one for a baby boy, or just two for the baby's dad. Then we open them and eat cake and you leave and we keep all the presents. Maybe I should just write another blog post about this and not put it in a caption.

   So let's skip all the failed attempts at being adorable and just skip to the facts. Here's the only image you'll need:

   There!! I can't imagine anything else you'd need in order to know the sex of our new little baby! I can't wait to start getting cute, appropriately colored onesies from all of you!!

   Hmm. On second thought, that might not be obvious enough to all of you non-doctors like my wife, or non-masters like myself. Here's a second try:

   Gah! I think Cara has some splaining to do.

   Ok no but seriously we are having a boy. A boy!! Wahoo!! Here's an actually somewhat useful picture of Cara's actual, somewhat useful belly:

   Pretty cute already, right? I mean his ears are kind of big and his forehead is suitable for sledding, but that's one adorable little nose, just like this guy's:

I feel like I deserve some kind of award for having never actually taken a bite out of his cheeks.  Circa 7 months old.

   A boy!! I'll check back in later to tell you just how happy I am about this, but it sure is fun to get the word out!

My mood: Things got real today. I'm ecstatic.
Wyatt's mood: Concerned about losing his throne.
Cara's mood: Outnumbered instead of even.
Listening to: Tom Petty

Classic Comedy!!

This kid will play till he drops. And then keep playing. He actually built himself
a sand pillow. Then he muttered "Car wy night night sleep." Over and over.

   Wyatt loves to say lots of words, and is really able to communicate what he wants with specific words, grunts and gestures. I wish he'd start stringing some sentences together, and throw in some words like "the, it, or, if, we, me, you, I..." really any non-noun or non-verb would be appreciated. Is there a word for words that aren't nouns or verbs?

   But don't think I am not trying to get him to talk more!! When he wants something, I pretend like I don't know what he wants. I want him to use his words, to tell me what he wants without just pointing. This happens:

   Let's all agree he's absurdly cute and move on.

   Wyatt has some interesting definitions he uses in language. Calling a fire truck a "water truck" and a garbage truck a "trash truck" isn't odd and is totally adorable, and things like calling a plane a "high bird" or a helicopter a "big bird" are logical, sure, but sometimes he's pretty entertaining.

  He's defined the word "mine" to mean "Wyatt's." Cara will be eating food and Wyatt takes a handful. Cara says "No Wyatt, that's mine."
Wyatt agrees and says "Uh huh! Mine!"
"No, Wyatt, it's mine. Mama's."
"Uh huh! Mine! Wyatt's!"
Cara then grabs the food and says "mine" and Wyatt says "mine!" and then I come home and say "Cara! You're the adult here!! You shouldn't be in a game of tug-of-war-of-words with a toddler. And if you are - holy crap you better win!"


   That video you saw above is not the only time I've run a Who's On First con on unsuspecting citizens.

   My buddy RJ and I have floated the McKenzie river bajillions of times. It was our pastime during high school and college summers. We bought two cheap, small inner-tubes and, in order to be able to tell them apart, on a whim we named them "My Tube" and "Yours." We even wrote these names on them with Sharpie.

   Soon, the comedy potential struck us. We'd float with new friends and I'd ask Rj "which tube do you have?"
"I have Yours."
"Good, cause I have My Tube." (Imagine it without the capital letters, and you'd be more confused.)

   My little brother in particular was a fun float friend for this reason. Every time, we'd run some clever concoction.
"Rj, can I take My Tube this time?"
"No, you've been using My Tube all summer, take Yours."
"Yours is full of wrappers from the last float, I'm going to take My Tube."

   Garrett knew some joke was up, but never figured it out. Sometimes Rj and I would pause to look at him and see if he had pieced it together (the names were written on the tubes for crying out loud), but he never did. Later, when I explained it to ANOTHER friend on a float, Garrett exclaims "Oh so that's what you were doing all along. Then I saw him process it for about half an hour, running all those conversations through his mind.

   Um... I guess that's all? Here's another picture and then we'll get to the finish line:

Cute little guy walking a cute little dog.

My mood: entertained yet frustrated
Wyatt's mood: Frustrated yet entertaining
Cara's doing: really, really well!!!